Joy Frequencies - a way of looking at life

Growing Where You Are Planted

2011-07-29T20:21:00.059+01:00

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance." - Lee Ann Womack

We can find ourselves in places, or positions in life that are less than ideal. We are sure that life would be easier if things were different, and they probably would be. We bemoan our lot and feel down hearted and disadvantaged by circumstance.

Which is why I was so inspired when I saw this seed that the birds had dropped, it had begun to sprout in a drainpipe on the outside of our house.

It really bought to life the saying grow where you are planted.

There was this little seed having been deposited in the most unlikely and unfortunate place, grabbing hold of life and beginning to grow.

No nice deep bed of fertile soil where it could put down its roots and reach for the sun. But never the less, it was doing its best, living its life... and growing.

I became attached to this little plant. I dribbled water at its roots and when we had really strong winds I tied a bit of twine around the drainpipe to give it support.

I willed it on.

And though only a fraction of its potential size, it made it. . .

It opened its petals and blossomed!

Surely an inspiration for us! That wherever we are planted, whatever our circumstances, we all have the potential to open our petals, turn our faces to the sun, and bloom!

"Don't let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do."
- John Wooden

Thinking About The Journey

2011-07-13T10:45:00.024+01:00

"Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence."
- Henry David Thoreau

You see, I collect trees. . .

They grow in pots, these saplings I've rescued from their inopportune growing places. I give them life, tend them, and watch them flourish.

These trees hold a vision for me. Of a day when I will own the land to plant them in. Land that will become a sanctuary for nature and all her living things. A place that we can all put down deep roots and grow.

Yesterday I was walking in the garden and found this little guy, my latest rescue. The grass in our garden had been left longer than usual before it was cut this time, and there among the grass I found this seedling growing. It must have sprung from the squirrels winter stash, buried in our garden and forgotten about.

If we had been on our usual schedule, the seedling would have been mowed and never seen again. If I hadn't spotted it before the mower got to work later that day, the same would have happened. But I did see it. And I carefully dug it up and planted it in a pot, and it found a home with my other trees.

It got me thinking. It seems to be part of our human nature to have dreams, things that we are heading toward, it appears that is the way of life. Things move, life evolves, and if we have an idea of where we want to go, it helps to guide the unfolding. But I realised that it must never interfere or get in the way of life lived right now. Because life in the moment is what we have.

However wanted our dreams and destinations may be, they may never come to pass, and we must be okay with that knowledge too. We must always be willing to adapt and not get too fixated on outcomes. There can be a tendency to slip into being so busy longing for the destination, that we don't enjoy the journey. But, the journey is all.

The journey IS our life.

So yes, let's steer our lives in the direction we want to go, but never forget to live every moment along the way! And right now my mini arboretum of rescued trees are blowing in the breeze, drinking in the sunshine and doing fine. :-)

Do you have a dream? Do you have anything that symbolises that for you?

Photo and words - Susannah Bec.

A Brief Interlude . . .

2011-06-20T22:33:00.021+01:00

Happy Summer Solstice - Let your Inner Sun - S H I N E

C O N N E C T E D
.
.
.

My
body
a conduit
. . a temple . .

Gossamer threads
connect me
with light

with stardust
with stories

Twin serpents
coil and weave
around my
sturdy spine

caressing bone
creating sparks

My being is
tangled with
all that is

The exhaling
of the universe
etches me
with its
breath
.
.
.

Image and words by Susannah Bec

Where shall we focus our lens? . . .

2011-06-10T10:30:00.028+01:00

"Appreciation is yeast, lifting ordinary to extraordinary." - Mary-Ann Petro

Every Sunday over at my other blog The Streaming Now I have been posting snapshots of things I noticed during my week. Most weeks these include photos I have taken of my garden, or of the pretty village I live in. These often draw comments saying how beautiful the village is, or how lovely my garden is.

Now this prompted lots of thought. - You see, if any of these people visited my garden (or my village) expecting only to see the beauty that I show, then they may well be disappointed.

Because, with my camera, as with my life, I get to choose what to focus on.

I could choose to take a photo of the broken paving, the overgrown vegetable patch or the manhole covers in my garden. And around my village instead of taking a photo of the pretty thatched cottage with roses around the door, I could take a photo of the dingy house with a black sheet pinned up at the window in place of curtains.

There have been times when I have been overwhelmed by the glorious colours of autumn trees, lit up and glowing like works of art. While others noticed a drinks can thrown by the side of the road and launched into a rant about the state of the area.

I could choose to focus on the wrongs and let them stop me seeing all of the rights - effectively blinding me to all the beauty that is around me.

We are surrounded by beauty and can make a conscious choice of where we focus our lens. It is really worth considering. . . what are you taking pictures of?

"Keep what is worth keeping - and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

- Dinah Mulock Craik

Voices . . . Yet Another Tiny Tale

2011-05-06T18:47:00.010+01:00

"Your gift will come as soon
as you are ready to receive it."
- Alan Cohen

She had such simple grace, like a blessing bestowed. Tall and thin like a reed, she swayed as she walked and her skirts swished around her ankles like a willow in the wind. She exuded a calm confidence and the aura of one who was grounded and secure in her being and when she spoke, the room quietened, hushed to a whisper as she held them spellbound with her voice. It was pure and clear, and as she sang, the notes were like a bird rising up into a brilliant blue sky.

When she finally fell silent the audience were all of a jitter, sensing they had been witness to something extraordinary. They were already mourning its loss as the reverberations of her voice disappeared into the ether and left them once again alone. These people, who for brief moments had been borne aloft, tranported by the magic that she had bought into the room, were left floundering. Clutching at the feelings that made their mundane world seem lifeless and without colour in comparison.

When she got to her feet to leave, in unison they began a mournfull chant that echoed and rang like a bell. Surging and pounding in its intensity, a dirge that accompanied her to the big wooden doors that marked her exit. One hand on the door, she paused and stood so still it was as though she had been cast in alabaster. Slowly she bought her graceful finger up to her rosebud lips and the ear splitting sound dropped like a stone. The silence was so heavy with expectation it had a palpable weight.

She turned to face them, and stood knee deep in the quiet that had descended. Her shining eyes returned their gaze as she whispered. . . "join with me."

From deep in her throat came a note that split the heavy silence, and energised the air with dancing light. She threw back her head and lifted her arms as the note increased in intensity.

One by one the assembled crowd became a choir, and the room and the people were filled with all they had sensed in her performance earlier, and they were no longer alone.

They were as one and they were magnificent.

She quietly opened the door and slipped away leaving them lost in their rapture, they had no more need of her. They had found their own voices.

For another tiny tale - click here

Images and words by Susannah Bec.

Clapping and Ringing Bells!

2011-02-05T11:48:00.003Z

Space Clearing, Spring Cleaning and Revitalising the Energy of your Home.

Even though it may not feel it on this chilly first day of February, Spring will soon be with us and with the emerging bulbs and the longer days invariably comes the urge to throw off winter and get ready for Spring.

We all know that clearing clutter in our homes makes us feel better. When things are in order and we have more space around us it affects how we feel inside. Spring cleaning is good for the soul.

Our surroundings affect us in so many ways.
In dream interpretation a house is seen as a representation of ourselves, and in waking life too, the home can be read like that.

By looking at our home in a different way and with an understanding of its symbolic nature, we can, with a kind of sympathetic magic alter and affect the energy of our home and by correspondence our selves.

Here are ten tips to get your home energised and ready for Spring...

Clear clutter! If you think of your home as a reflection of your self, you will understand the importance of this. Get rid of stuff or put it in order and tidy it away out of sight.

If there are spots that get regularly cluttered, put a big vase of flowers or a fruit bowl there instead. Don't give it any room to get cluttered.

Look at what you are holding on to?

Are you holding on to objects that you don't like? Presents or keepsakes from people you have negative feelings about? Are you keeping anything that makes you sad? or that bring unhappy feelings. Do you keep things out of obligation?

Think of these things as having residence in your psyche, taking up space. Think if you really want those things around any more. Things are not people, it is okay to let them go.

Clean, sweep, polish. Pay special attention to corners and under things. 'Don't sweep things under the carpet.'

Now you have got your home physically clean, lets move on to think of the things in your home symbolically. Look around at the images in your home. How do they make you feel?

Does your life feels stagnant and boring? Perhaps think of changing the still peaceful landscape picture for something involving movement and excitement.

Life too busy? Surround yourself with peaceful tranquil images.

Are you looking for love? Do your images reflect solitary figures? Replace them with something that says 'love' to you.

Now some feng shui basics, whether you believe in it or not, the very act of you deliberately placing objects with intent is a powerful one and will have an affect.

Stand in the doorway to any room in your home, now looking inside the far right corner is the relationship corner. Put something there that symbolises a happy relationship for you. Things in pairs are good, healthy plants, use your imagination find something that symbolises that to you.

Now look to the far left corner, that is your money corner! Again use your imagination here!

In mine I have a jade plant (money tree) and standing beneath it is a smiling fat happiness buddha with his hands in the air, he is also a money box and has a slot in the back of his head that regularly gets a pound coin or two dropped inside.

What could you use in your corner?

The centre of a room, or your house as a whole, represents health.

I knew a lady who had chronic illness and pain. I was walking up the staircase in the very centre of her home and noticed that the whole stairwell was filled with etchings of hunting scenes with animals caught in traps. She was seeing suffering every time she passed by. I had to say something, it just stuck out as so obvious. She listened and replaced them with tranquil landscapes that denoted peace to her.

Look at the centre of your home in that light. You don't have to have anything symbolic there, just make sure that it is clean and uncluttered.

Make sure all the mirrors and windows are clean (I am groaning as I look at mine.) They represent clear vision. We all want to be able to see clearly and for our reflections to be clean and bright. Sorry to be making work for you. :-)

Open the windows and doors let some fresh air in. Make sure all doors open freely and are not blocked or cluttered. Again think symbolically.

Now all the clearing and fresh air should have got the place feeling great, but there is one final step to get the place sparkling and to move any stagnant energy especially in the corners.

This is a really interesting exercise because if you listen carefully you can actually hear the results. You can just use your hands, or if you have a small bell with a really pure clear note you can use that too. The object here is to move the energy, disperse it, liven it up.

Stand in a room and clap your hands and listen carefully to how it sounds, you are looking for a loud resounding clap. Now go and stand in the corner of a room and clap your hand there and listen again. In some places the sound will sound dull, a sign you need to keep clapping in that spot until you get a clear sound. Clap up and down, floor to ceiling, until the sound has a crisp ring to it and the dull sound has gone.

Follow the same procedure if you are using the bell. The sound waves move the air and the energy, and you can hear by listening to the tone when the energy is finally clear.

Energy in corners tends to get stagnant and is usually where you find the dull tones. If you have already used the rest of these steps, the energy should be pretty clear anyway.

Also useful to freshen the atmosphere of a room after an illness or argument.

Now your home should be sparkling and feel very different to when you started. If you want to at this point you can imagine each room filled with a sparkling white light. Make sure to breathe it in and fill yourself up too!

Take some time to observe your surrounding with the mind set that they are a reflection of you and your psyche. Does your home reflect who you are now?

What can be done to make it an accurate reflection of you now?

I will be doing this as soon as Spring fever hits! For now I shall look around my home and check if it is a good up to date reflection for me. I'll take special notice of the blind spots, the things I'm so used to, that I don't even 'see' any more. Oooh, I am exhausted thinking about it! I think I need a cup of tea. :-).

Do you want one?

"I will act as if I do make a difference." - William James

Blocked Doorways

2011-01-18T20:10:00.024Z

"The art of life lies in a constant readjustment
to our surroundings." - Okakura Kakuzo

I was walking around our village the other day when I noticed this blocked up doorway. The funny thing is that it must have always been there and I must have passed it a hundred times and just never noticed it before.

This time it stuck out like a beacon, prompting me to take this picture. It seemed like such a potent image, this place that once allowed access and now is just part of a wall.

My first thought was that the image was so powerful because of what it represented. It was a blocked entrance rendering the doorway impassable. It said STOP, no entry, and all that that symbolised led to my initial thought that it was somehow a negative thing.

Then I let the image sit with me for a while and realised that most blocked doorways are like that because they have outlived their usefulness. They are no longer needed and it is good that most of these old doorways are sealed off, preventing us from going over old ground, revisiting things and places that are no longer ours.

As the saying goes 'One door shuts and another opens' and I am sure that most of those old doorways have now been replaced with new doorways that lead to fresh paths and vistas that are significant and pertinent to those who wish to use them.

"We must be aware not to wait too long at old doorways
for new doorways are always being opened up."

How do you feel when you look at the picture? What is your immediate response?

Shall We Stop Waiting For The Magic?

2011-01-07T20:13:00.039Z

"It is always your next move." - Napoleon Hill

A few days ago I was returning a visit to someone who left a nice comment on one of my blogs, when I came across the post A New Year's Epiphany and I was amazed at the response it bought up in me.

As I began reading, I found part of me screaming, "No, no, don't say that, don't shatter my illusions." But by the time I had reached the end, my initial feeling of dismay had dissolved into a feeling of excitement. I then realised what a profound and powerful piece of writing it was.

A New Year's Epiphany

I will never win the lottery and be able to quit my job.

I will never buy a chocolate bar and find a golden ticket inside.

There is no knight in shining armor coming to rescue me.

Prince Charming will not appear at my door, holding a glass slipper.

Fairy Godmothers and magic wands do not exist.

I am responsible for my own happily ever after.

For years, that used to terrify me.

But now, it excites me to no end.

- by VL Sheridan

When I analysed the feelings it had bought up within me I began to understand that however 'together' I thought I was, that subconsciously some of my energy was still tied up waiting for the magic.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that there are moments of magic scattered throughout our journey if we know how to look for them. And that is good, and that is wonderful, and who knows, we may well be one of the ones who does win a lottery, or find a golden ticket!

But what is not wonderful, is putting off the full expression of our life because we are waiting for something. Because on some level we are hanging on for our lucky break, our prince charming or our fairy godmother.

We may not consciously be doing that, I didn't think I was until I reacted to those words!

Then I wondered, what if under the surface that hope is still lingering in other people too? and using up vital energy like a tv on standby.

We grew up with childhood tales of magic, fairy tales and happy ever after and part of us still clings to that, as a bright star flickering in the sometimes dark sky of our reality. Perhaps it serves some sort of psychological purpose? but it also disempowers us.

While we are still carrying those feelings, those hopes and dreams tucked away under the surface, stashed in some secret pocket of ourself. Then we are functioning below our potential, we are waiting for rescue, for something external to fix things. We are not giving our all to our lives here and now.

That is why the end of A New Years Epiphany is so empowering...

"I am responsible for my own happily ever after."

We don't need fairy godmothers and magic wands.

We don't have to wait for someone or something to give us what we need.

We can stop stifling our energy and being good girls and boys awaiting Santa Claus.

We can stand up, step into our own power and take responsibility right here and right now for creating our own happy ever after.

I am up for that! Are you?

"The key to your universe is that you can choose. " - Frederick Frieseke

Thanks very much to VL Sheridan - for the inspiring words and for letting me use A New Year's Epiphany it is much appreciated.

Image by Susannah Bec.

Words, Blank Pages and Life.

2010-12-31T12:02:00.017Z

"I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page
and I could do anything I wanted."- Jack Kerouac

When I was at school I would love it when I came to the end of an exercise book (the note pad that we wrote our lessons into) and had a chance to start a new one. Those wonderful smooth white pages not yet sullied with untidy writing and mistakes.

I savoured that moment and was always filled with good intentions. The first page was duly written in my very best handwriting. Slowly and meticulously I formed each letter like a work of art, I wanted it to be beautiful and my heart would sink just a little if I faltered.

I wanted to keep the whole book like that, I wanted my writing to be straight and neat. I didn't want to cross things out, to make mistakes or lose focus.

But of course, with writing as with life, I did.

Sometimes my obsession with the neatness of my first page made me try too hard, my hand became stiff and unresponsive my mind was 'trying to write' not trusting that my hand knew how to do it. Other times I was rushed, uncaring, thinking of other things and my writing sprawled and stuttered across the page, punctuated with little mistakes and tripped up by smudges.

It always worked best when I was relaxed and calm, mindful of the moment and trusting my hand to function as an extension of my mind and heart, because then I would just let the words flow fluidly across the unwritten page.

I have realised as I've got older that even though the neatness of the writing is still important to me, for I am an aesthetic soul and appreciate the beauty in things. It is so much more important what meaning I am filling my pages with. What story is filling up my book?

We can, if only we realise it, choose to start a new page at any moment. Each morning is ripe for a new beginning but it is here at the turning of the year that lots of us are thinking of what we wish to write into our next year, into our next chapter.

So, I'd like to send you my blessings and wish you good writing! May your story flow and may it be a beautiful one.

"A new paragraph is a wonderful thing. It lets you quietly change the rhythm,
and it can be like a flash of lightning that shows the same landscape
from a different aspect."- Isaac Babel

The Wheel Keeps Turning

2010-12-20T09:42:00.016Z

"It’s only in our minds that we are separate
from the rest of the world." - Gay Luce

The wheel of the year keeps revolving and things move on as they always do and we return again to one of the natural marker points, Winter Solstice, the longest night.

In this hemisphere the daylight hours are at their shortest and the cold and the darkness are reigning once again over the land. Things appear dead but in reality they are dormant, sleeping and gathering strength for when the light and warmth returns and the cycle begins again.

So it is with us too at this time of the year. It is the time to slow down and think over what has gone, to take the time to reflect and to gather strength. It is a time to decide what we want to bring into our lives. A time to incubate our dreams and identify the things we wish to grow in our life in the next year. Now isn't the time for action, but for planning and dreaming, for getting clear on what 'seeds' we wish to plant for the year ahead.

The time for action will be spring when the whole of nature will be bringing forth new life. We can attune to the natural cycles, live in harmony with them and use the energy to birth our new beginnings too.

"The great lesson from the true mystics
is that the sacred is in the ordinary,
that it is to be found in one's daily life,
in one's neighbors, friends, and
family, in one's backyard."
- Abraham H. Maslow

Wishing you all peace, love and joy, thank you so much for your visits and for your friendship, they are very much appreciated - Susannah x

Image - Painting by Susannah Bec

Be As A Cup - Revisited

2010-12-04T20:45:00.026Z

"Be as a cup and the universe flows into you. Be as an arrow
and the universe retreats from you." - Zen Proverb

I loved this quote when I first came across it. It seemed to me that it was often so true that chasing after things can send them further away from us. Whereas the attitude of open expectation or 'allowing' lets things flow towards us.

If you have ever watched a horse whisperer you will see the same process at work, if he advances toward the horse, then the animal retreats, but if he retreats then the horse advances.

This is something that I think that most of us would have difficulty with at first, as culturally we are taught to go after the things we want.

We are so used to taking charge of the things in our life, that the thought of 'allowing' feels passive and gives us the feeling of not being in control, not 'doing' anything.

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes,
and the grass grows by itself." - Zen Proverb

From experience I know that it takes practise and a lot of trust to 'attract' rather than 'persue', to stop pushing and allow the situation to unfold and show itself. It seems to go against what we have been taught but the more you experience this at work in your life the easier it is to be able to relax and have faith in the process.

The lesson - Be the magnet that draws things, rather than the pursuer that chases. In our allowing we enable the smooth flow of things toward us.

Adding and Subtracting - Revisited and Updated

2010-11-19T17:00:00.014Z

"The years teach much which the days never knew."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was younger, life seemed all about what I could add to it. I worked on gaining more knowledge, more experiences, more things. As I have got older I have noticed the spiral reversing. I am now dropping things, simplifying. I am now editor of my life.

The myriad of things I had gained knowledge about and picked up along the way 'just in case' were cluttering my mind like an overfilled bookcase, it was crammed with so much stuff that I couldn't find the life affirming classics without moving the trashy novels and gossip mags.

So I metaphorically and physically tidied my shelves, dropped what had served its purpose, let go of the sparkly things that I had held onto because they looked good and kept only the things that were dear to my heart. Things in which I had found my reflection.

The subjects whittled down from a swarm of interesting things, to just a few that have stood the test of time. The spotlight beam now narrowed, focused, shining a light on what I need to see. Clear, no distractions, clutter gone.

In my growing, I had breathed all these things in. I have now exhaled and am left with only what it truly valid for me.

"To be authentic is literally to be your own author, to discover your own native energies and desires & your own way of acting on them." - W Bennis

It has been a couple of years now since the first part of this post was written, and that act of exhaling and letting go of the clutter was vital for a magpie like me, who has always amassed and gathered.

I would read everything and filter out the information I needed, I would have piles and piles of books because the titles looked interesting. Every surface in my home was covered with beautiful and interesting things.

I was fascinated by everything. . . and I was swamped.

Not knowing in the end, which of all that stuff was important to me and which just had twinkly lights and promised much. I loved to live in that realm of infinite possibilities.

But, it made me an observer, I stood outside it all, thinking how wonderful and interesting it all was, I couldn't partake of it all, there was too much.

I spread myself too thin
put too many ingredients in the pot
forget to remember that less is more

I get caught up in quantity
when quality shines so much brighter
by nature, I amass rather than discern

A single rose can be studied
seen for its individual perfection
twenty is just a bouquet of flowers

My thoughts say why write one
when ten are flowing from your fingers
but who will listen to ten, when one would do

So that is when the editing began. I truly did exhale. I got rid of so much stuff, both in the real world and the stuff that was cluttering up my mental state. Some of it I found it hard to let go of, but I did it.

In the end I was left only with that that truly had heart for me and suddenly instead of spinning in a hall of mirrors, exhilarated and dazzled by the lights, I could point to the handful of things that I could interact with, go deeper with.

My speciality subjects were distilled from the mountain of trivia.

Time has passed and I am now taking the next in breath. I have made room for me to breathe in, space for new things, new thoughts, new directions. Honouring my role as author, I am constantly adding to, editing and polishing the story that is me.

"What's important is finding out what works for you." - Henry Moore

Poem Less is More by Susannah Bec - For more poetry please visit Out Of My Ocean

Changing the Steps of The Dance

2010-11-07T08:26:00.012Z

"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." - Tuli Kupferberg

When anything changes at a core level, whether it be a person, a relationship or a country, then too its 'reflection' will change.

The old energetic pattern has been altered and if the things, people, or patterns don't change as well, then they will become incompatible with the new 'frequency'.

It is as though two people are dancing together with well practised steps. If one person begins to try a new dance then the situation becomes uncomfortable as they are no longer in synch with one another, they are literally 'out of step' and for a while chaos may ensue.

People often feel uncomfortable with such changes, as has been well documented in relationship studies when one person evolves, maybe gives up a destructive habit/pattern etc. then the other person in the relationship feels unbalanced by the shift and does their best to drag the partner back into the old behaviour so that the dance can continue. This point is the most crucial time of the 'changeover' period, as people will often fall back into old habits and behaviours just to keep the peace and please the 'dancing partner'.

Sometimes things have to fall by the wayside if they don't match a changing energy, that is the way of evolution. If you have ever been in a destructive dance with someone you will know the relief when you chose to change the steps or simply walked away from the dance.

If a 'dance', which can be any sort of relationship, work, personal, parent/child needs to change. then it takes one of the dancers to take the lead and begin dancing different steps. The original dance can not continue as the other dance partner can not continue the dance alone. So then something will have to change. Hopefully they will learn to follow the new steps and new and improved, the dance can continue.

If not, then you must have the courage to dance your own steps and through dancing you will attract a person or situation that will think your dance beautiful and be able to synchronise and join with you in your dance. Like attracts like and things are mirrored on all levels and whenever the energy changes then a new 'dance' can begin.

Do not let the future be held hostage by the past. - Neal A Maxwell.

A Story For Saturday

2010-10-29T22:32:00.044+01:00

She altered her gait to match his, lengthening her stride as they crossed the steel bridge with clanging footsteps and anticipation. The afternoon was heavy with the scent of blossom and the curious dragonflies that shadowed her were iridescent and shimmered like spun glass as they danced in the air around them.

They stepped on to the winding path and their footfalls were softened by the springy grass underfoot.

She felt her excitement building when she heard the drums in the distance and the soft ethereal sound of the flute blowing on the breeze.

The pale blue sky peeped through the canopy of fresh green leaves, dappled and lit with sunlight, they threw a kaleidoscope of light filled shapes at her feet as she walked.

He was there, strong and silent beside her as always, his silver hair a striking contrast against his cloak of the deepest blue velvet. He had slowed his pace and the flickering sunshine on his face threw his features into sharp relief.

She was so glad that this day had come and that he was there to walk this path with her.

It had taken many years to gain the knowledge, to ripen her understanding so that it may now bear the fruit of the lineage she was born into, and now she was finally ready and felt the joy rise through her body like a thousand white butterflies heading toward the light.

They were getting close and the sounds of the drums seemed to be beating in time with her heartbeat, the rhythmic cadence of the flute echoing her breath. She heard the soft chanting and it pulled her forward through the twisting branches and out into the clearing.

She was finally there...

Silence fell as soon as she appeared and the circle was hushed, ribbons decorating the four quarters lifted and fell in the breeze, it was the only movement in this sacred place.

The trees were draped in garlands and the smell of sweet incense permeated the air.

The faces of those gathered were turned toward her and she saw the expectation in their waiting eyes.

She felt him behind her and heard his soft breathing.

"It is time" . . . his rich voice reverberated around the silent grove.

The women began the gentle chant and heart beat drums joined the wash of sound that swirled around her as she looked down at her white gown and the girdle she had so intricately woven with delicate spring flowers.

She could feel the weight of responsibility hanging in the air.

From the corner of her eye she saw him walk forward to stand by her side, he looked deep in her eyes and slowly nodded his head before reaching out and with a gentle hand gave her an almost imperceptible nudge forward.

She was unable to move, rooted to the spot for what seemed an age.

. . . and then from out of the shadows came the dragonflies, effervescent and joyful as they cut the heavy air with their light, they bought their sparkling energy, their magic and their blessings. It was the sign she was waiting for and her heart leapt and she smiled and stepped forward into the waiting circle and her destiny.

"Once you know who you are - you know what you must do."

"When your inner and outer energies radiate in harmony,
you are blessed and spiritually magnetic." - Terri Guillemets

"Man is never alone. Acknowledged or unacknowledged,
that which dreams through him is always there to support
him from within." - Laurence van der Post

Good Advice

2010-10-15T19:04:00.004+01:00

“Keep a good heart. That’s the most important thing in life.
It’s not how much money you make or what you can acquire.
The art of it is to keep a good heart." - Joni Mitchell

Image: Sanctuary - Susannah Bec

We come with a built-in SatNav as standard

2010-10-08T08:43:00.040+01:00

"The struggle to learn to listen to and respect our own intuitive,
inner promptings is the greatest challenge of all." - Herb Goldberg

Recently we had reason to visit a distant town we had never been to before. Unlike a few years ago where we would have pored over the map, plotted the route then asked for directions to the actual street when we reached the town, we just programmed the address into our SatNav and sat back and enjoyed the trip.

We took a leisurely drive absolutely certain that even though we didn't know the route, if we followed the directions to turn here, or go straight ahead, we would be taken to the destination we had programmed in. Even when we took a detour on route, stopping for snacks or following an interesting signpost, we were sure that the SatNav would get us back on track with its 'turn round when you get the chance' voice, and constant and comforting refrain of 'recalculating route'.

We didn't doubt, or once get the map out to double check, we trusted that even though we didn't know the way, if we followed and listened to the voice each step of the way, we would get to exactly where we wanted to be.

"Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer." - Robert Graves

Now this got us talking and we likened it to our journey through life and the address we are programming in, being like a goal, or something we wanted to head towards. Now of course, we could read books, pore over maps and logically work out the route. Or we could trust that we have our own internal SatNav, our intuition, our subconscious, that inbuilt sense that lives beneath and behind our rational mind.

So, if we know for sure where we want to head (very important) and we listen and feel for clues (our instincts/intuition/internal SatNav) and then trust each step as it appears, then maybe our own internal SatNav will guide us to our destination.

It takes guts to trust your inbuilt guidance system like that, to sit back and enjoy the ride when you can't see the whole route. Sometimes you will feel that you are going in a completely unrelated direction to where you want to end up. That is when your logical mind will step in and tell you that you are crazy! ;-) but from my experience you get lead to your 'destination' in the most amazing ways that you would never have envisaged with your logical mind, the detours and back roads are often short cuts. So trust that when a signpost appears you will recognise it and follow its pointers.

"When you let intution have its way with you, you open up new levels of the world. Such opening-up is the most practical of all activities." - Evelyn Underhill

We are not used to giving up control like that and it makes us uneasy, but as with all things the more you do it, the more you trust it. So why not start small and do some experiments with the concept. Recognise which is your internal SatNav voice and follow the directions! Before you know it you may be enjoying the scenery on route and letting your internal SatNav deal with details.

Latest: Hello everyone, well I haven't updated in a while as I have been a bit distracted following my own SatNav! >>> Read More

Connecting to the Earth

2010-09-07T20:35:00.023+01:00

"Nature holds up a mirror so we can see more clearly the ongoing processes of growth,
renewal, and transformation in our lives." - Mary Ann Brussat

Today a friend and I were talking about how it is so easy to get disconnected from nature in the midst of modern life - and I remembered the time I took a visitor that lived in the heart of London to a local woodland to walk its trails. She looked around in horror! before exclaiming -

"but there's nothing here but bloody trees!" :-)

I believe we're a part of nature and that it is vital for our wellbeing. Even the simple fact of noticing the breeze on our skin, the sun on our faces acknowledges that connection.

Getting in touch with nature helps us to get in touch with our own 'nature'.

If we become
disconnected and
separated from nature
then we step out of alignment
and we start to entangle ourselves
in the wrappers of the man made world.
We start to believe that that's all there is
the cities, concrete, cars, and the 'things'
(there are always SO many 'things')
and all of the unimportant things
wrap around us...like vines
creeping and covering us
until we can not breathe
until our connection
has been cut.

So we wander alone
through those city streets
and turn on a television to see
what todays weather is going to be
and we forget to look at the sky
and walk on the green grass
springy under our feet.
We begin to believe
that the world
is cold, hard
artificial.

but

if we step out
into the wild places,
the forests, the fields,
the mountains, the oceans,
places beating with the pulse,
the heartbeat of life itself, and
we attune again to natures voice
begin to dance those rhythms
then all of the life force
laying subdued
within us...
will come
alive

*

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." - John Muir

Words written today
originally posted on Out of My Ocean
until I decided they would be better suited here.
Photo: A moss heart thatgrew on a big rock in our garden. :-)

Remembering . . .

2010-09-03T08:21:00.011+01:00

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”

I wander through the corridors of me
in search of that tiny room
that contains
all I have forgotton

The dark holds such memories
it is taut with unspoken things

Things that lay just below the surface
unseen, but dangerous, even to the sure footed

Those small wrinkles in our bedrock become molehills
that can be magnified into mountains
in those inner cinemas
of the unconscious

I need to find the very darkest corner of me

and there, behind the fears
and the debris

of a life

half lived

I know I will find the spark

That pinprick of startling light. . .
just awaiting the breath of my awareness
to fan it into a fire, that will flood the shadows
illuminating those inner rooms with the brightest light

I reach out with eager hands and pick up that burning torch
I hold it aloft, until all the dark internal places
have seen the light that I carry

Lit up from within

I remember

myself

*

"Do not fight the darkness,
let the light in and the darkness will disappear."
- Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

As you can see I have given the place a bit of a makeover! I hope you like the new look. :-)

Image and Words - Susannah Bec
Picture taken in my garden a couple of days ago
Poem In Search of a Spark taken from my poetry blog Out of My Ocean

The Urge For Change . . .

2010-08-17T13:09:00.026+01:00

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." Abraham H Maslow

There are certain times in life where things bubble up from that deep unconscious wellspring within us, feelings, urges, impulses for change. These are not usually logical well thought out rational plans, they are creatures of the heart, of the soul. Instinctive and primal they demand we heed their call. They belong to the right brain and the left brain can not always fathom their origins but the body, the emotions feel the call.

It is as though some internal timer has ticked itself around a dial until suddenly there is a ringing, alerting us to action. We may try to stifle these moments, bury them and sometimes our bodies will react, showing symptoms, reminding us of the things our conscious mind is preventing us from acknowledging and taking action on.

I believe that these are times when we should decide to reinvent ourselves, to mould our life, our activities, our surroundings into a more accurate representation of who we have evolved into on an internal level. We update our wardrobes, our cars, our home decoration. . . sometimes we need to do this with our lives.

"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. " - George Shinn

We all have comfort zones, we feel at home in our reality and change can be a frightening place, especially if we are unsure what the change should be. But if we are honouring our inner impulses, our inner guidance, soul connection, call it what you will. Then we trust that if we are willing to take a risk and are prepared to move forward when the inspiration/ knowing arises, then we will lead ourselves to a new expression of ourselves. We will be a willing participant in our internal evolution.

Sometimes our old skin gets too tight and we have to shed it, at first we may feel vulnerable and exposed without our old casing. That is when we have to have faith in our inner promptings, and trust that soon we will emerge into the next phase of our lives - feeling brave and alive with tremendous energy running through our veins.

Until then . . .

I am an empty cup,

a shallow bowl,

a deep hollow in an ancient rock.

I am an unused envelope,

a blank page,

a primed canvas.

I am a rain barrel,

a vacant house.

a cavernous sea cave when the tide is out.

I am the space created by nothing,

I am expectation,

I am waiting to be filled.

Words and digital image - Susannah Bec
More of my poems can be found at Out of My Ocean

After every storm, there comes clear open skies...

2010-08-04T11:12:00.090+01:00

"Turn away from what has gone,
for the future lies sparkling and awaiting your presence."

"All the advice you give to others is for you to hear." - Byron Katie

Today, I turned on the computer and checked the date, and then the realisation hit me that there were only nine days left of me being 'forty something'. In just nine days time I will be 50 !

Wow, I thought, I will have lived for half a century. I will be the age that in my youth I considered old. . . and then something strange struck me, far from being unsettled by it, I was actually really glad!

I have a confession to make. In hindsight, I haven't really enjoyed most of my forties. Somewhere along the way I seemed to have got stuck and have lived most of it in a kind of suspended animation.

"To play it safe is not to play." - Robert Altman

I felt awkward in conversations where everyone agreed that life became so much better with age, that they were SO glad to be older, it gave them freedom, self knowledge and happiness.

I just smiled politely and sat quietly with my secret.
I had self knowledge in bucket loads, freedom too, and have always felt such gratitude that I have the ability to extract joy from the simple things of life. But, somewhere inside me, it felt as though something had stopped, and it cast such a huge shadow.

"The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life,
the clearer we should see through it. " - Jean Paul Sartre

Then I discovered something, that sometimes just the passing of time solves things. As some things decay and are dropped, other things ripen in their place. And lately I feel a real shift, a bubbling sense of new life. Whatever had stopped has started again!

Something has been transformed, inner alchemy has been at work.

So, without ever entirely understanding what caused and cured these rumblings in my inner life! I shall gleefully let go of what has gone and with open hands I will welcome the future. I will embrace this new phase and I shall begin again!

I will step willingly into my fifties. I am ready for a new adventure!

"After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn.
And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies." - Samuel Rutherford

Have you ever felt such a turning point? Have you had inner situations that could be felt but not understood?

Image: between today and tomorrow - Susannah Bec.

Life Is Made Up Of The Little Things

2010-07-20T12:13:00.023+01:00

"Everyone is trying to accomplish something big,
not realizing that life is made up of little things." - Frank A. Clark

I think it is so easy to let much of our life slip by, unnoticed and unappreciated, because we are on the look out for the big things that we think should constitute our happiness, our success, our getting there.

Childhood tales of Prince Charming or the big bad wolf teach us that momentous things are out there waiting to be part of our story and they may be, and that is good, as long as we don't forget to enjoy the small things too.

We are urged by the motivators, to do something, be something, strive for our goals, never give up, keep on keeping on. Because then - we can become great, we can be successful, we can live the life of our dreams . . .

We seem to be instilled with the seed idea that what we are is not enough, we need to be, do, achieve more. Our everyday life is not enough, it is 'ordinary' - but when we achieve our goals whatever they are. . . then all will be well.

The downside of all of this, is that people are judging themselves and their lives on some idea of what should be. When they could be enjoying the incredible beauty that already is.

"To live only for some future goal is shallow.
It’s the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top."
- Robert M. Pirsig

Right here, right now, you are wonderful, you are 'enough', there is nowhere you must get to, nothing you must achieve, nothing to do but relax and realise that it truly is the little things that make up our life. If we get into the habit of looking for them, there are small miracles everywhere but we need to slow down enough to notice them.

We can take a deep breath, relax into our life and stroll through it enjoying the scenery, feeling the sun and rain on our skin, taking the time to interact with the minutes that make up our days.

"If you cannot find happiness along the road,
You will not find it at the end of the road." - Unknown

If we are too busy and too future focused we miss the wonderful moments like this one that Jennifer blogged about recently. Little moments of magic. . . the world is full of them.

Image - Susannah Bec

I wanted to share this moment with you . . .

2010-06-18T14:09:00.017+01:00

"Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you. " - Author Unknown

I was sitting quietly at my desk as the late afternoon Sun gently crept around the corner of the building ready to shed its slanted light into the sheltered part of the garden.

From out of nowhere the most intense golden beam of sunlight flooded in through the large window of my room, chasing away the gloom of the previous moment as it shone.

I looked up in awe as it pierced through the heart pendant in my window
and refracted into thousands of shimmering diamonds of light
that covered me and made me gasp with joy.

I was dazzled with the light, the beauty, the moment

. . . as my heart was filled with sunshine.

"Once your awareness becomes a flame,
it burns up the whole slavery
that the mind has created."
- Osho

Automatic Responses & Stepping Outside the Box

2010-06-08T10:06:00.023+01:00

THE PREDICTIVE TEXT FUNCTION OPERATING WITHIN HUMAN REALITY

"I have the feeling that I've seen everything,
but failed to notice the elephants." - Anton Chekhov

We watched something recently that featured what looks like an ordinary room with a very tiny man in one corner and a very large man in another, they then walked across the room and took each others place, the small man then became the giant and vice versa.

The presenter explained that the room was vastly askew and the floor was sloping so much it looked as though the man was walking uphill when crossing the room to change places, but due to the perspective used and the place it was being viewed from it looked like a perfectly normal room.

He then went on to explain that as the mind is so used to a room being square, that, that is the image that is being fed back to you. Here is a youtube clip of a similar experiment - Click Here to see it

Also have you ever seen this before? You are presented with a paragraph and all the letters are jumbled up, but surprisingly if you relax you can read it just fine because the first and last letter of each word are in the right place.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

In both of these cases our mind is taking what is coming in through our eyes and using what I call its predictive text function.

Anyone who has used a mobile/cell phone will have come across predictive text - where it attempts to speed things up for the user by predicting what you are trying to write based on the first few letters you type.

Now of course these are just a couple of examples of the ways in which our brains deal with incoming information based on the facts that it already has in its memory banks.

Now I wonder, if we had never seen a room before and didn't have a 'mental model' of what a room looked like, would we then have seen it as it actually is? as obviously, if we weren't already familiar with the English language, we would have just seen a lot of jumbled shapes in the example text.

So it is the already existing model of reality that we have stored in our minds that constitutes what reality is to us - and all incoming data is measured against that and seemingly altered to suit!

Did you realise how much of this was going on with our own every day perception of things?

So I wonder in what other ways this is operating in our lives?

If everything is subject to the minds preditive text, then I suppose that the emotions have that facility too. Anything that we have already experienced or have a 'model' for is influencing the box that information or feelings are filed in, and therefore determining the responses that come forth from within us.

One bad event will influence the predictive text response to another similar event that may be wonderful, but because of the original blueprint that was layed down we may never get to experience it, as we believe our responses are us and don't question them.

So what if when this internal filing system was set up by our first experiences of things, it was based on innacurate or warped information - is then our predictive text function still sending out responses to events interpretated against its first filed model of reality?

We don't usually question the things we see, hear, or feel, we trust that we are accurately perceiving what is there - it seems that this isn't always the case!

"Don't believe everything you think."- Faith Duck

So maybe we should begin to question our responses and reactions to certain things, especially if they are holding us back in any areas of our life. Perhaps we could delve a little deeper by understanding how our we/our systems are programmed.

Names are needed so that we have a common understanding but they put things in boxes, wrap them up in neat little parcels, sum things up in just a few words.

Sometimes words are barriers to seeing . . .

As a child we have things named and compartmentalised for us - a pointing finger and three letters render that huge burning ball of gas in the sky around which we orbit, and all its wonder . . . Sun.

Thereafter on a day to day level, it is, "is the Sun out today". Beauty, majesty, mystery and the enormity of its splendour gone, replaced by three letters. We have a model, a box.

"Words, words, words! They shut one off from the universe..."
- Aldous Huxley

I have a deep feeling that this realisation about how we work could be profound. If we know this about ourselves and our reality, we can use this awareness to question our assumptions and responses. If life seems lack lustre perhaps the labels have got in the way.

We can become aware that the words, the labels, are just doorways and if we enter the vast halls behind them and look at what is there with new eyes (and the predictive text disabled) we will be witness to an amazing and astounding world.

We literally need to step outside the box.

"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." - Tuli Kupferberg

Image and words - Susannah Bec

Photographs - We Are Our Own Worst Critic

2010-05-26T12:08:00.026+01:00

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." - Malcolm S Forbes

It seems to be one of the things of life, that often we can be our own worst critic.

Most of us have been handed a photo taken of us with a group of friends or family, and the first thing we tend to do is is scan our own image with a critical eye! How many times have you heard people say - I look awful! I hate having my photo taken!

Other people looking at the same image wouldn't see what you are seeing, they would just see YOU!

Recently a group of us had a day out, including a lovely lady who looked vibrant and sparkling in a gorgeous shade of purple. She just radiated sunshine! with her big smile and sense of fun and made the day nicer just by her being there and sharing her enthusiasm, her energy was effervescent!

Afterwards when looking at the photos of the day, the lady in purple exclaimed that she didn't like to see herself and pointed out all the things that she judged as 'wrong' with how she looked.

"Shake off those thoughts,
They're strangling you,
Let out your human song."
- Donovan

It made me realise that when we observe ourself in a photo we are just seeing a flat image, just the surface appearance - but what others are seeing and responding to is so much more, it is the whole of you, what bubbles up from out of your core, your energy, your smile, what you radiate out from the inside.

I suppose, because we are looking out from inside ourselves, that we can never truly see or experience ourselves as others do, and that is perhaps why we sometimes get caught up in judgements about the surface of ourselves. We are not feeling the energy that goes with the visuals. It is sad that we often don't realise how much beauty we hold because we get too concerned with our wrapper.

“There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.” - Thomas Merton

How do you feel when you see yourself in a photo?

Thoughts for Today

2010-05-11T10:05:00.018+01:00

"A tree has both straight and crooked branches; the symmetry of the tree, however, is perfect. Life is balanced like a tree. When you consider the struggles, difficulties, and sorrows as a part of it, then you see it as beautiful and perfect." - George M. Lamsa

Every moment - a perfect moment

every second full of potential

every thought a building block

a stepping off point into the endless now

it is forever now, despite the illusions

of expectation and memory

of a before and an after

it is now

it is always now

*

"The flower doesn't dream of the bee.
It blossoms and the bee comes." - Mark Nepo

Image and Poem by Susannah Bec
For more poetry please visit Out of My Ocean

Be More of Who You Are

2010-04-10T17:49:00.035+01:00

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." - Dolly Parton

Inspired by this photo taken recently in my garden, I began thinking about how we too grow where we are planted, and how we have to grow up through the chains and restriction of circumstance and upbringing to become who we are.

Some of us have it easier than others, a stable loving home, enough money, people around who understand and appreciate us and teach by example the important things of life. We learn how to love and be loved, how to find happiness in simple things and how to respect and feel good about ourselves.

Some of us seemingly sail through life, most of us don't! - for as well as the inevitable hurts, knocks and sorrows that come bundled with this package called life. . . we have ourselves to deal with.

"We work with the stuff of the soul by means of the things of life."
- Thomas Moore

We have to function through this interface called 'personality' and deal with a myriad of emotions - making allowances for all the little idiocyncrasies that come with being an individual.

Some people have it easier, their internal makeup is one pointed, walking the same road looking at the same goal, no stragglers, no wildcard to sabotage their best laid plans, no internal dichotomies to mediate. With others, learning to mediate between all the differing internal needs, urges and feelings to enable the soul to function effectively through the personality, takes work and understanding.

"My task is really not to change myself but to become familiar with who I am." - Maureen Cook

All of this, makes us such rich intricate beings and through necessity leads us on a quest of personal growth and self understanding. If we were static and if everything was always easy we wouldn't get to know ourself and our strengths and capabilities. We wouldn't develop into the complex and beautiful creatures we are.

It is by forging ourselves in the fire of life that we hone our skills and recognise our unique essence and learn the courage to express ourselves outwardly, to be authentically us.

We all have our own patterns, our own chains that we are growing through, up toward the light. So that eventually we may open our petals and bloom.

"Whatever you have learned from your own life experience,
it is time to express yourself."- Osho

Another Full Moon and the Reminder it Brings

2010-03-30T13:03:00.037+01:00

"I'm going away to an unknown country where I shall have no past and no name,
and where I shall be born again with a new face and an untried heart." - Colette

Seventeen years ago, the girl I once was sat on this bench under the full moon. I was far away from where used to be called home, perched up there on a windswept clifftop, with the ocean raging below. It was toward the end of a life changing Summer, one spent close to the beach. My only personal possessions - a few clothes.

Home for those months was a tiny 10 foot caravan and the whole of a new and beautiful part of the country to explore. The coastline was wild and rugged, the sea by turns tumultous and then calm as a lake, mirrored my emotions.

"Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines,
your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes - with all this taken away,
you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably
makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. "

- Michael Crichton

I was empty - stripped of what I thought I was.
I hadn't realised how far what I had believed constituted 'me' had stretched - out into my art, my possessions, my home, my friends and my environment - until it was all gone and there was just me.

I discovered, I stopped at my skin.

Detoxed and purged by the waterfalls of tears that had washed me clean, I was healed and opened up by living so close to the forces of nature. And there, sitting under that full Moon,
I felt I had been reborn.

I felt whole and grounded.
I was finally calm within my own skin.

I knew that it didn't matter what I had or didn't have, or who others thought I was.
I knew who I was, and I realised that that was what was truly important.

I understood that home was inside me, that 'things' didn't matter, and that the things we fear losing, are the shackles that keep us chained.

I knew that from that day on, whenever I saw the full moon I would be reminded of those things, and that everything else is just icing on the cake.

Doing What You've Always Done

2010-03-19T09:12:00.015Z

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" - Anthony Robbins

If you really think about this quote, you will realise how deeply profound this simple statement is . . .

if we do what we always do -
we will get what we've always got!

That's wonderful if what we've got is good and makes us content and happy, it is a really great blueprint for keeping the good things in your life going well - just keep doing what you are doing, it's working!

But if there are areas in our lives we recognise as not working as well as they could, then perhaps we have to recognise the truth of that statement and move out of our habitual way of doing certain things.

If we want different results, we have to try doing things a little differently and be prepared to face the sometimes scary and uncomfortable feelings that come from stepping outside of our comfort zone.

I see it as steering a car, if we constantly bump the curb, then just by making little adjustments on the steering wheel we can correct our course. If we have always wanted to see what the scenery is like over there, then we have to indicate and make a turn, or we will continue on the same road.

What a powerful realisation that is! Once you are conscious of the fact that you have a choice and that it is YOU steering the car, you just have to decide - now, where do I want to go.

"You cannot surpass the current paradigm from within the current paradigm. You must discover a greater paradigm and expand into it." - Alan Cohen

Many Selves - An Inner Choir

2010-03-16T20:56:00.034Z

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." - Anaïs Nin

There are moments when a chance meeting will spark up something inside of us, a stream of thought, a deep realisation that uncovers something within ourself, something intrinsic.

It happened to me yesterday . . .

It held a mirror up to my deeper self and I saw a vital part of me reflected. That recognition 'shuffled me' on an inner level, bringing a part of me that had taken a background role and planting it firmly there in the foreground. As I felt the jolt and reabsorbed that almost forgotten energy, I mused how had it had taken such a back seat and I wondered, when had it moved out of my everyday life?

I decided (too quickly) that over the years my outward self had become a diluted version of my essence. Like a voice that naturally sings bass, learning to sing soprano to harmonise with those around so they can hear what I am singing. I had tempered my expression of me, so much that it had become habitual - it was in fact now. . . me.

"There are so many separate selves;
no one who writes creatively hasn't felt that."
- Jeanette Winterson

Then, I thought further and knew that yes, that may seem to be the case but also something much bigger was going on here. I looked back and understood that all throughout my life there has been a shifting of these internal players, my very own choir! Always singing together, some are singing harmony, some descant and at certain times one steps forward to sing a solo. That is what had happened.

Different parts of me have taken centre stage over the years, depending I now realise, on what I at a core level need to learn or express right now. The assets and skills of each of these players are kept and contribute to the whole but step forward when needed.

So yesterday, a part of me that I hadn't expressed outwardly for such a long while stepped forward - and she's ready to sing a solo.

Very interesting! it looks like a new phase is about to begin.

Gone But Not Always Forgotton

2010-03-08T23:16:00.042Z

"The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal." - Astrid Alauda

Sometimes we can find ourselves having reactions to things that seem to make no logical sense to us. Things 'press our buttons' or leave us feeling uncomfortable and no amount of rationalising seems to help, in extreme cases it can lead to anxiety and phobias.

It is easy to forget, that as we move through life, that everything we see, hear and experience is being logged, only a little of it makes its way into our conscious mind as the rest is discarded and dumped into our subconscious mind - gone but not always forgotton, it can still cause a reaction.

I'd like to share a story that illustrates this -

My Mother has had a lifelong fear of the sounds of church bells ringing, she gets a really panicky anxious feeling and feels real fear - she has no conscious reason for this.

She investigated all sorts, even thinking that maybe it was a 'past life' memory. Nothing helped.

She was born at the beginning of 1939 the year the war broke out, and a while ago I happened to catch a TV programme talking about England and WW2.

I was half watching while doing something else, when all of a sudden my ears pricked up as they said a very interesting thing! I don't think was common knowledge, as no one I have spoke to had heard it before.

They said that when the war started they silenced the Church bells all over the county. - It was decreed that they were only to be rung in a real emergency, as in the case of the country being invaded, when they would be rung everywhere to warn people.

They then went on to say that they were actually rung just once in 1940, as they thought invasion was imminant!

There it was - the bells! - Can you imagine the fear of the people, with a country at war and the bells ringing! I am sure my Mother picked up on the fear and anxiety that all her family and the people around must have had when they heard bells ringing!

Of course a baby is too young to rationalise but the sound of the bells and the feelings of fear from those around was logged and internalised and then replayed whenever she heard church bells.

I couldn't wait to share this with my Mum and she was so glad to have finally solved the mystery and understood "why".

I wonder how many things we have internalised and forgotten that are perhaps influencing us, our reactions and our behaviour?

Just a Reminder . . .

2010-03-02T22:26:00.012Z

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."
- Flora Whittemore

"Life is the sum of all your choices." - Albert Camus

What Needs To Be Done

2010-02-23T19:13:00.032Z

I think that most people at one time or another in their life, have felt the feeling of being trapped in a situation or lifesyle that is no longer making them happy.

Situations change and we do too as we evolve as people, and what may once have been a comfortable fit can start to feel claustrophobic and stifling.

What to do in a situation like that? well, the old quote comes to mind - Either change the situation or change the way you're looking at it! but the tricky part comes when you realise that YOU are the one in control and only you can make the changes.

"You've got choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore & you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice." - S D Woodhull

I once lived in a situation that I jokingly called 'my pretty prison'. Over a number of years I tried every which way to alter it from within, but in the end I knew I had to take action, so I got up, opened the 'prison' door and walked into a new life.

It wasn't easy, in fact it was one of the hardest things I have lived through but I recognised at my core that it was something I had to do. Things and people sometimes have to be dismantled before they can be reassembled in a new stronger way.

"It may be that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey." - Wendell Berry

One vital bit of advice to add, is - 'remember that you take yourself with you'. Whatever the core issue is behind your feelings, if it is stemming from your own unresolved issues, it will in time resurface to be dealt with again, and you may just find yourself in another very similar situation - we create our own prisons.

"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Confucius

Above all, if something is making us unhappy, or doesn't feel right, I think we owe it to ourself to change it, however uncomfortable the process may be. I don't think we should allow ourself to be miserable for a second longer than necessary, there are always choices.

The change doesn't HAVE to be anything on such a grand scale as I described above - often times a change in how we perceive our situation is enough to alleviate the tension.

"We may not be able to change what we look at, but we can always change what we see." - Alan Cohen

It is amazing how 'reality' can shift when perception does. Sometimes the thought of actually taking action and changing things, is enough to put things into perspective. By dreaming of a 'big escape' we can miss out on lots of very real treasures our life holds right now.

As a wise friend said recently "maybe we should simply ask ourselves - What needs to be done?"

What a powerful approach! - it cuts though so much.

"What needs to be done". . .

"Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference." Mignon McLaughlin

Image by Susannah Bec.

Giving and Receiving Love

2010-02-14T00:40:00.017Z

Love we all need it - it is one of the fundamentals of life. Whether we get it from our partner, our friends, our community, or our pets, it is a deeply nurturing necessity of life. Equally, we also need to give love, to care for things. Receiving alone is not enough. Our need to nurture and care bring out the best in us, whether channeled into a family, a garden, our pets or humanity itself.

LOVE IS ONE OF THE FUNDAMENTALS OF LIFE

We are born needing touch, needing love, needing acceptance, and hopefully with a loving parent and family we learn that we are loveable and deserving of love, we accept it as our birthright. At this formative time, we also learn how to give love, and how to show our affection and feelings based on copying our primary caretakers, our family of origin.

"A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it."- Frank A. Clark

Now this is all hunky dory, as long as the ways we copied were positive, nurturing and life affirming. Often they were not, life doesn't always work like that. Unconditional love from parent to child is an ideal but not always possible, so we don't always get to realise how loveable and deserving of love we are. Some of us may feel we have to earn love, and when we do get shown love in adult life, we somehow sabotage it, so that we can return to the inbuilt feeling that we are unloved.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." - Stephen Chbosky

So we grow up and get into relationships with others and then perhaps go on to establish our own families too. So why at times does giving and receiving love seem to cause so much trouble?

My theory is, that because of all I mentioned above, we all have different conceptions of love, different ways of showing love and different things that constitute 'being loved' for us.

Here are some examples-

One person is upset about something, their inbuilt need is to be hugged and comforted and reassured that everything is going to be alright. The other person, on seeing that the first is upset, automatically thinks that they need time alone. So respecting what they think is the others need, they retreat. The first, seeing the others retreet, surmises that they don't love them, thinking "how could they walk away when I am obviously upset."

One person is always tending to the others needs, delicious food, cuddles and lots of thoughtful gestures. The other cries secretly because the first never tells them they love them

One person is always buying the other suprise presents, expensive and beautiful items. The other smiles but they mean nothing, they are just longing for a cuddle.

You see with these examples, that people have different ways and ideas of showing love. If we are lucky, we will share a similar expectation as to what constitutes love and we will easily see and understand the way the other gives love, and it will feel comfortable and nurturing to us. In the same way, our expressions of love need to be seen, appreciated and accepted.

WE ALL NEED LOVE

As people are often vulnerable with regard to their need for love, they often do not recognise the love that is offered, as it isn't presented in a way they recognise as 'love'. As in example 2 above, where the person is being surrounded with love but because they don't actually hear the words 'I love you' they don't recognise it.

"Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." - Author Unknown

Obviously, if this can be recognised and understood, more of an understanding can be reached. The person who buys his loved ones expensive presents to show love (just as their parents did to them) can learn to give a cuddle to show love instead and in return, the other by recognising how the partner 'expects' love, can buy a suprise present occasionally just to say 'I love you'.

In making an effort to understand each other, it is often helpful to explore how both you and your partners family showed love as you were growing up - what feels natural to you?

By realising that there isn't just one correct way to express and experience love, it can open us up to feeling the love that we may just be missing.

How was love shown when you were growing up?

What do you need to feel loved?

Image - Love Frequency by Susannah Bec

Quote for Today - Be Yourself

2010-02-03T12:49:00.012Z

"You cannot fail at being yourself. A cat doesn't try to be a tiger,
and you shouldn't try to be something you aren't.

You are a process, not a product.

Your job is to discover what you are and create that creature. You still won't be perfect, but success isn't about perfection - it is about authenticity.

You are a success if you are being your real, authentic self."

- Bernie Siegel

Image by Susannah Bec.

Sonic, Super Mario and Life.

2010-01-18T12:50:00.020Z

Those of you familiar with the early computer games such as Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Mario will get the references but I am sure the rest of you will understand the analogy. :-)

So, you are a small blue hedgehog or an Italian plumber walking or running through life, collecting points, dodging obstacles, defeating monsters and completing stages to go up to another level.

Once you get the knack of the game, you start to look out for the things that may hold something special for you! They may not be obvious and may just look like another part of the scenery but if you stay open minded and explore a bit, you will get used to expecting these little treasures to be hidden throughout the route. Usually you have to go a little of the beaten path and stay open and curious, thinking "I wonder what's up there?"

When you recognise and activate the hidden 'gifts' - usually by jumping on them! you release something from inside that wasn't at all obvious - it can be a super power, extra points, even extra lives, whatever, it will be something to help you and enhance your role in the game.

As we move through our own life (whether we are ambling along enjoying the scenery or whizzing along collecting points) there are times when we too have to find a way around the obstacles, where we have to use all our strength to fight the monsters that are invariably there, and where we discover that in beating them we get access to a whole new level, we reach another stage in the game.

Sometimes though, we forget that scattered throughout our own journey are also hidden the nuggets of treasure, the wisdom and the sparkling moments that change us and give us new skills, new powers!

We all remember times when we bumped into, or were lead to things that marked a turning point, or opened up a door to a new area of exploration, these things fortify us with new insights and new energy that starts to expand our understanding.

It could be a situation, a chance remark, a quote, or a book but you will know that it is important because you will feel that tingle of recognition inside! that once it is recognised and 'jumped on' it will add to our resources and give us new tools in this game called life.

"The wise man reads both books and life itself." - Yutang Lin

So as we make our way through each stage of our life, let's not be too busy dodging the obstacles and battling the monsters to know that hidden (usually in plain sight) are little treasures that once 'jumped on' can brings us gifts. As these things often look like everyday objects and situations we have to stay open and curious, listen to our instincts and notice the tingles and hunches and never be too busy to think "I wonder what's up there".

Nurturing Our Still Centre

2010-01-03T22:02:00.017Z

Day to day living ensures that our attention gets pulled outwards as we interact with the external world and its constant stimulation. Some things whisper so quietly that they can't be heard above the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We need to nurture our still centre so we have an anchor point, a calm internal space to return to.

"Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again."
- Joseph Campbell

Image: Precious Thing by sb

At The Turning Of The Year

2009-12-31T08:55:00.046Z

"The merry year is born, like the bright berry from the naked thorn."
- Hartley Coleridge
Life is full of marker points - the turning of night to day, of month to month, season to season and year to year. We often make a celebration of special days like our birthday and days like today where we see the end of one calender year and the start of another.

A consciousness of these repeating times can give us a sense of continuity and helps us to understand the ceaseless circling of time that unfailingly bring us back to these marking points. We return to them over and over again, and each time we return to the same place, things are different, we are different, as everything moves on.

"For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."
- T.S. Eliot

So at this turning point in our collective year, why not join with me and take some time to feel how this last spiral has made us wiser, appreciate what we achieved and the blessings we received. Then let go of anything that needs to be left in the past, all that we don't wish to carry forward, release it and let it go with the passing year.

Then take a big deep breath and lets throw our wishes and dreams into the next year to line our path and light our way! . . . then we can step boldly into a new year and enjoy the next 365 day trip around the Sun.

A Very Happy New Year To You

May it be full of Joy and Happiness and bring you all you need.
Much love and thank you - Susannah x

Image: Fortunes Wheel by sb.

We Teach People How To Treat Us

2009-12-19T09:33:00.072Z

We teach people how to treat us.

Now that may seem to be a strong statement - but it is one that I happen to believe is true.

For example, maybe there are times when we dismiss someone's sharp impatient tone when they are talking to us, or we let them take us for granted, or allow them to act disrespectfully and we don't say anything.

Whenever we allow people to not consider us and our feelings. Whenever we stay silent and hope the 'other' will notice how unfair they are being. Whenever we don't say how it makes us feel. Whenever we don't speak out . . .

We are teaching them that whatever they are doing is ok with us.

If you get a new puppy and it starts to chew the table leg, you pull it away and tell it NO! Each time it goes to do it, you repeat - NO!
It soon gets the message and will stop chewing the table leg.

Same with people and with ground rules.

As an example - If the very first time your partner ever spoke to you sharply or disrespectfully, you said, "please don't speak to me like that, I don't like it." They may reply, it was because of this reason, or because of that reason. If you then replied, "no matter what the reason, I don't like to be spoken to like that. Please don't do it."

What would happen?

They would either adjust their behaviour out of respect for your wishes, or you would rethink how you felt about a relationship with someone who didn't take account of your feelings.

People will accept their behaviour as OK
- If we accept their behaviour as OK.

It is our responsibility to make it clear what we will accept and let it be known. Others will mirror the respect we give to ourselves. If we allow others to act in ways that make us unhappy, we owe it to ourselves to quietly and calmly change the ground rules.

A New Chapter

2009-12-08T10:35:00.052Z

A New Year - A New Start

Thoughts For A New Year

As we make our journey through the landscape of our life, we gather up and collect our memories on the way. The happy moments that we treasure become part of the fabric of our lives.

Those shared family stories that help anchor us and give us a sense of belonging, that let us know that we are a part of something bigger than just our solitary selves.

They strengthen us and our bonds with others.

The sharing of our memories and the retelling
of our stories is an ancient thing.

People gathering around a fire sharing the myths and legends of the tribe, was the way in which knowledge and folklore was passed from generation to generation.

We too have our personal myths and folklore. Made up of the stories we have heard about ourselves. Maybe you heard - "She is such a good girl" or "He is useless at sports, his brother is the sporty one, he has two left feet". Positive or negative, these become anchors, ways of being. Then over the years we add the ones we tell about ourselves, "Oh no, I am useless at that!!" - "I am so unlucky with men" - "Nothing ever goes right for me".

These beliefs and repeated stories become part of our 'script'.

The truth of the matter is, that as good as memories are for keeping us grounded and for continuity, they are based on the past, on the people we once were, and the situations that once existed. We are constantly growing and evolving and if we are conscious of the negative elements of the story we tell about ourselves, then we can choose to change that too.

"Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future." - Melanie Gustafson

Life is based on the choices we make every day, the book we are writing of our lives. We can write a comedy or a tragedy. We can write ourselves a part as a hero or heroine, or we can be the poor soul, the victim, the martyr. We can write a tale of drudgery and lack, or one filled with sparkling happy moments.

If you thought about your life so far - what sort of book would it be?
how would you as a character be cast?

It is an interesting exercise to realise that we have a choice in how we want our 'story' to play out, what do we want to write in for our character? What adventures could we put in there for him/her? What hidden qualities could you find in your lead character? What baggage could they drop? What choices does she / he need to make in the coming pages? What is your 'happy ending'?.

All the things you have experienced, have made you who you are right now. The good, the bad, the joy and the pain. But whatever your life has been, right up to this second, you have a choice in where it goes from here. Every moment is a place we have never been before. Every day, a new day, a chance to add happy moments, as the future is lived one day at a time.

The future is still unwritten.
You have a blank canvas, a clean white page.

The new year is a time when lots of us look back over the year just passed and make resolutions for the coming one. This year why not do it a little differently and think of which stories you want to leave behind and which new ones you want to write in. Think of it as the start of a new chapter in the book you are writing about your life.

Sunday Thoughts

2009-12-06T21:12:00.025Z

Sometimes you need to define what it is for you. What is the purpose of this wild and crazy life, where is your place in the scheme of things.

Will you plod steady down the centre path of your life, or skirt the edges, dancing with shadows, listening to the music that is yours alone to hear.

Will you sparkle and shine and burn with passing passions, reflecting the lights of the peripheral and almost unseen.

Or do you want to sink roots deep into the black earth and remain steady, growing branches, sprouting leaves, reaching for the sky.

Do you run, do you walk, or do you sit and wait for the sparkling moments to blow through your hair.

Giving Thanks - Gratitude

2009-11-26T00:24:00.008Z

I give great thanks for this life of mine
for this beautiful World and the gift of time
to experience its wonders, and all for free
the sun, the rain, the moon, the sea

to feel all my feelings, to know love and pain
to sleep every evening, to rise once again
to experience the joy bubble up from inside
to trust intuition to act as my guide

The majesty of nature, the evolution of life
The wonders and marvels,the troubles and strife
I am so grateful to participate, to live and to dare
to walk this green planet while remaining aware.

I express untold gratitude for the marvels of Earth
for the twin poles of existence in death and in birth
for the air that surrounds me, the breath that sustains
the heartbeat inside me and the blood in my veins

Everything is moving, working out and resolving
its part in a whole, that is gradually evolving
So, I give great thanks for this life of mine
this beautiful World and the gift of time

Image and Words - © Susannah Bec 2009

Handing Over Our Power and Fitting In.

2009-11-15T08:40:00.026Z

"Re-examine all you have been told.
Dismiss what insults your Soul."
- Walt Whitman

We arrive in this world as blank slates.

Bright eyed little learning machines, we soon start to understand and be taught what is acceptable and what isn't.

This of course will vary from country to country, culture to culture and even family to family.

Some of the pretty universal things we are taught are vital for our safety. Such as . . .

Don't touch that it is hot and will burn you.
Don't go too near the edge, you may fall.
Be careful with sharp things, they may cut you.

We are also taught basic manners, to say please and thank you. We are taught not to hit our siblings, not to draw on the walls, not to pull the cats tail. We have an inbuilt need to be accepted by those close to us, by our family, our tribe, so we quickly learn to modify our behaviour to fit in with them, to receive their love and to be accepted.

We also start getting taught to

Be nice
Don't make a fuss
Don't be 'difficult'

We are taught that this sometimes means going against our instincts - for example "Give your Uncle a kiss". Maybe you don't want to kiss your uncle, maybe he is a bit creepy. So what do you do?

In the end we swallow our instincts and follow orders. We start shutting our selves and our individuality down in order to be accepted by the 'group'.

We are taught that those 'above us' deserve our respect and we must do as they say. This includes. -

Parents and adults in general.
Teachers.
Doctors.
Religion and it's 'staff'.
The government.

From an early age we are indoctrinated to 'be nice' and accept orders.

We are taught to suppress our feelings and to accept the fact that those in charge know what is best for us. We learn to follow orders, to accept direction and perhaps no longer to ask questions.

We become good children, good citizens. We learn to respect authority.

"Just because something is tradition doesn't make it right."
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

You then have people who are so divorced from their own shut down guidance systems that they NEED someone to be in charge, to tell them the 'right' thing to do. They are still looking to the 'parent' in the shape of authority/the church/religion/the government to take charge. So they can follow the orders/guidance that they were trained so well from childhood to do.

There is also still the need to be accepted by those close to us, our friends, our family, our tribe. When you have given away your own will to a certain extent, then there is safety in being part of a herd.

The media make sure we are 'imprinted' with the common issues, fashions, concerns, even soap opera's, so that we feel identified with those around us. We get the sense we must be doing the right thing, everyone else is doing it too.

It then reinforces that feeling of belonging, being accepted by the crowd. We have all seen what happens to the child in the playground who doesn't wear the latest fashions or listen to the same music as others.

So as adults a lot of the population has become so indoctrinated with 'being nice' and not standing out from the crowd or making a fuss, that we go along with things that we shouldn't.

"You taught me to be nice - so nice that now I'm so full of niceness,
I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion." - Garrison Keillor

Most times people don't realise that this has happened and are quite happy to go along with the status quo. There are women who give their power away to husbands, workers who allow bosses to talk down to them, people who let churches indoctrinate them with fear.

So we don't make a fuss when people disrespect us. We don't make a fuss when our society or our government does something we don't believe is right.

"If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom." - Robert Frost

You hear a lot of talk of "they should do something about it" whatever the particular 'it' may be.

People are divorced from their own power and autonomy, they have been taught to give it away. There are times when it is vital to break out of this mould that society has poured us into.

Perhaps we should realise that WE are the 'they' that should do something about it. There are times for our own self respect when it is good to say 'no' - when it is right to make a fuss. To take back our own power. In fact it is necessary.

Being Authentic in a Holographic Universe

2009-11-08T08:19:00.021Z

Energetic frequencies, repression, alignment and taking back control.

Beneath the social niceties of good manners and everyday pleasantries we respond to people instinctually on an energetic level.

Our instincts sense things that our eyes don't. Someone can be skilled at mask wearing and have a very effective facade, donning the mask of the character they have chosen to play, usually the one they think will get them the most response, respect, applause or whatever it is the individual is seeking. Sometimes the mask wearer has no idea that they are in disguise, the method of relating has become ingrained.

Sometimes people can be consciously presenting one image, while subconsciously broadcasting a different energetic frequency. If the facade and the underlying energy don't match then other people can feel it, they may not be able to put their finger on why it is uncomfortable but they will register that it is, and often respond with an energy that is a match for the underlying energetic frequency.

As with passive aggressive people, on the surface they may come across as 'nice' people, but underneath the aggression is barely contained and seeps into the surrounding area where it can be felt. Often, due to the underlying tone of their energy being picked up on and responded to unconsciously by the people around them, they can be the victim of their own unacknowledged anger being sensed by and acted out by others.

So even if a personality is talking about things of value, or being sweetness and light on the surface, if it doesn't 'ring true' with the overall tone of them at an energetic level then the signal will be at cross purposes and cause interference and hinder true expression.

BEING OUT OF ALIGNMENT

CAUSES INTERFERENCE IN THE SIGNAL

Being Authentic
When people are being authentic in their communication, as in being aligned with their authentic self, then that too can be felt by others and in turn triggers an authentic response in those listening.

Communicating from an aligned authentic place has deep nutrition, as it evokes a response from the same place in others. If the mask and the deeper levels or the intellect and 'gut' are not in tune with one another, then it will maybe provoke intelligent communication that feeds the mind, but on a deeper core level it will not be received and in some way you will not register that person as being 'real'.

We are Complicated Creatures
Energy becomes misaligned because it is repressed. We are complicated creatures who have coping mechanisms to cope with feelings, experiences and situations that we don't know how to deal with. We work to protect our vulnerable inner core. After a while if this is too painful or too difficult to deal with, we then separate and cut ourselves off from our subconscious and feeling levels and stay in the relatively safe space of our head and intellect.

The things and feelings that are repressed don't go away just because we no longer consciously acknowledge them. We may externalise our issues and deal with them in the 'outside' world where we can see and safely interact or campaign for an issue that perhaps is also a reflection our own underlying wounds. As an example the one who felt abandonment works to save abandoned children or pets and by doing so is actually healing his own abandonment issues. The things that we are moved to address in the outer world are also part of making ourselves whole.

It also works in that people fight against externalised darknesses and project on to an enemy 'out there' who needs dealing with. This causes wars, one race against another, one country against another, one school playground fighting with the neighbouring school.

An Interconnected Entity
Each of us who can take that inner commitment to honestly explore ourselves and deal with our own issues is contributing to the whole. Existence itself, is one interconnected entity and by healing yourself and achieving your own authenticity you will trigger that in others. You fight it 'out there' and you have no control, the control panel lies within.

Picture a body where every cell is whole, healthy, functioning well and contributing to the whole. Now picture a body where one cell has been damaged so decides to 'convert' all the other cells, it rampages through the body spreading itself, until the body weakens through the spread of this 'cancer'.

So there are the choices, stay disconnected and believe it is 'all out there' and fight it or be a victim to it. Or take back control, deal with your own shit, find your authenticity and let your authenticity trigger the response in others.

Whatever affects one strand of the web of life affects it all, you can not tug at one strand without finding it attached to everything else.

Do we live in a holographic universe where each part contains a reflection of the whole? where the microcosm can influence the macrocosm, where if one 'cell' gets healthy and whole and transmits a pure clear note, then others near by can pick up on a energetic level and attune to it, where authenticity triggers authenticity and wholeness triggers wholeness. Where we take responsibilty and see our very lives as our sacred act. Where the things we include in our energetic mix are also reverberating back through the whole web of life, to influence and affect the whole.

The Clear Stream of Life Itself

Those that see beauty, those that feel compassion, those that feel joy, those that honour their emotions, those that love, those that sound a clear note, those that are brave enough to clear out their basements of all the hoarded hurts, those that let go of programming, preconceptions and judgements, those that allow the clear stream of life itself to flow through them, unimpeded by the internal debris that clutters and clogs our channels, I give you my greatest thanks.

Crying is Good For You

2009-10-24T11:25:00.063+01:00

For as long as we can remember we have heard the words - Don't Cry. We have probably said it ourselves on numerous occasions, and repeated it to our children, our friends, our siblings.

As if stopping the tears would stop the hurt.

If you are male you have probably internalised an even stronger message. - Dont EVER Cry - big boys don't cry, be a Man, be strong etc. etc.

So, the message is Don't Cry.

- Why on earth not?!?

Because crying means you are sad
Because crying means you are hurting
Because crying means you are in pain
Because crying means you are frustrated
Because crying makes others uncomfortable
Because crying doesn't solve anything

Oh, right, so they are the reasons, I understand now.

But most of those things are part of life itself! - We do get sad - We do hurt - We are sometimes in pain and we are often frustrated.

Yes it is a fact that crying can and does make others uncomfortable. They want it to stop, they don't know how to deal with it. Maybe it triggers their own unshed tears and they don't want that to happen.

And what about the thought - crying doesn't solve anything?
Half hearted, stifled, held back crying, really doesn't solve anything, it only gives you red swollen eyes and a sniffling nose.

But if you move into the feeling and really allow the tears to flow - wail if you need to! and don't stop yourself until the torrent is over. You will be washed clean, healed by the flowing salt water.

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it."
- Albert Smith

Tears come easily for some people. Others are shut down by being repeatedly told 'Don't Cry' they are out of touch with their emotions and manage to stay dry-eyed, no matter the depth of pain or sadness. For some, crying means weakness, shame, "being a baby."

When you cry you are healing:
Tears have a purpose in maintaining our equilibrium and wellbeing. As part of our internal weather system they are a vital function - that is why we have the ability and urge to cry.

"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep."
- Henry Maudsley

"Chemicals that build up during emotional stress may be removed in our tears when we cry,'' says William Frey, professor of pharmaceutics at the University of Minnesota. link

The renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Karl Menninger, wrote in his book, The Vital Balance, "Weeping is perhaps the most human and most universal of all relief measures." Read more

We would never dream of saying to someone if they needed to drink, eat or sleep - don't do that! We recognise those bodily functions. But the natural urge to cry when needed, is stifled and shut down.

We may not like it when it rains outside if we fancied a sunshine filled day, but we recognise that it is needed. The Earth would become dry and brittle without it, life could not exist.

"Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water." - Antoine Rivarol

All the weather systems of the Earth are necessary - likewise - so are ours.

My Story:
A long time ago, I used to feel uncomfortable around people when they cried. I would squirm and feel ill at ease - I desperately wanted them to stop.

My own tears were an unshed torrent inside me, I hid them - even from myself. I was afraid that if I started to cry, I might never stop. I might drown in the deluge of my tears.

Eventually my body began to show the evidence of this great swell of tears I had carried and not allowed to flow, and the dam broke and I learnt to cry.

"Let your tears come. Let them water your soul."
- Eileen Mayhew

I learnt to cry as a child cries, all consuming, not stifling or holding anything back. I sobbed until I was washed clean, empty of the stress and sorrows I had been carrying.

Others close to me, had only seen people holding back tears, the sort 'that never solve anything' and they had to learn that when 'allowed' and done with your whole self, that crying was good.

It DID solve things, it allowed people to get rid of stress, disappointment, sadness, grief. It healed, refreshed and renewed. They had to learn to stop saying 'don't cry'.

"Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow."
- Rita Schiano

From that time on, I have no fear of emotion. - I feel honoured to be around those healing waters as they flow. If I am in the presence of others when they shed tears, I hold them and rock them, as I urge them - "keep crying until all the tears are gone."

"Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away. Just let it out, my friend."
- Adabella Radici

Do you find it easy to cry?
Do you feel better afterwards?
Does being around others when they are crying make you feel uncomfortable?
How do you feel about Men crying?

Loving What Is

2009-10-05T08:54:00.039+01:00

"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest." - William Blake

I have found by experience, that if you start by loving what is - then that is a sure way to attract more of what you want into your life.

We build walls around our desires believing they can only come to us in ways we have been taught or can easily envision.

This rules out letting the magic of the universe do its stuff.

Relax, and start to love and appreciate in your present reality the essence of what you want more of in your desired reality.

- More Freedom: Appreciate the freedom you all ready have, the freedom to sleep late at weekends, the freedom to state your views, the freedom to make your decisions. etc. etc.

- More Love: Appreciate the love from your cat, your parents, your friends etc. Start to see and appreciate all the reasons you are loveable - love yourself! See and love in others what you want to be loved in you - open up the love channel!

- More Money: Keep it flowing, don't hoard it, if you need some tucked away so you don't have your buttons pressed, that's OK but then relax and know that as it is given, it will be recieved. Got bills to pay? great, do it willingly and give thanks that you have the money to pay them. Let it circulate, see it as energy. There is a never ending supply.

Release the thought forms of why you 'can't' - get them out of the way. Drop your resistance and allow the stream to flow to you!

Magic can then happen - watch and be amazed.

"A thousand things went right today." - Ilan Shamir

Image - Abundance - My digital artwork.

Blogs, Awards and Seven Things!

2009-09-20T20:47:00.038+01:00

A few days ago I found a really nice message left in my comments from Jen Morrison at Realia where she let me know that she has kindly issued me a Kreativ Blogger award. What a lovely suprise! So my job, is to pass it along:

As I can't pass it back to Jen, I will pass it on to some bloggers that in my opinion deserve to receive a Kreativ Blogger award for their lovely blogs!

So firstly I would like to pass one on to Barbara at Serenity Space where she documents (as she says herself in her tagline) "One woman's journey, backwards and forwards, through domestic bliss and chaos as she seeks some enlightenment and inner peace!" I always enjoy her blog posts and she definitely deserves an award and I am glad I am able to give it to her. :-)

Next in line is Joyce Mason for her blog Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights where her tagline is "Live a Spirited Life - look both ways for signs at the crossroads" Joyce, is a friendly, positive and prolific blogger, who actually gave me my first award early in my blogging days, it was much appreciated, as is Joyce and her sunny attitude.

Then I would like to pass an award on to Tamara, over at her blog, ;)semicolonsmile as she herself says "I notice little things and dream big things." I always enjoy visiting and enjoy her varied and sometimes quirky posts that make me smile ;-).

Last, but certainly not least, I would like to pass on the award to Oriana Green at Green Meditations for her truly beautiful and inspiring blog. Her tagline is "Meditations on nature as a spiritual and creative path" and if you have never visited, then please remedy that immediately! Her wonderful photos and evocative writing will definitely uplift you.

So thank you all for your blogs and enjoy your award, and thanks again to Jen for starting this whole ball rolling! :-)

Now I’m supposed to list seven things I like, not including people:

Nature: A constant source of beauty, wonder and incredible energy. Big beautiful skies and magnificent clouds, raging oceans and tinkling streams, lush green grass and majestic trees (I could go on for EVER!).
Animals: I love them all, from the birds who visit my garden, to the spider who inhabits my bathroom, and of course the three wonderful purring bundles of fur who share my life.
My connection to my inner life: my higher self, my soul, god, the universe, whatever you want to call it! I feel it and I am so grateful for that.
Colours: I love colour, it takes my breath away, I am moved by it, energised by it, I can often be found staring at something obscure as I go about my daily life because of its wonderful colour.
Astrology: Not for its predictions or its sometimes glib exterior but the real deep symbolic language that it is and the understanding it has given me about who I am and my inner, psychological workings.
Blogging: I love being able to sit in my home and be able to have a creative outlet, to be able to connect with people from all over the planet, to share my thoughts and be able to peek into other peoples lives too and to develop friendships with some wonderful people. ;-)
Car boot sales: A peculiarly English thing ;-) where on Sunday mornings people drive to a field with their cars stuffed to the gills with things they no longer want or need and set it out for the swarming hoards of people, who rummage and browse in search of treasure! all at bargain prices (next to nothing). I love to browse, there is always that element of surprise, what will I find today?! Wonderful. . . I am hooked.

So that's my seven and I now pass the baton on to you!

Only if you want to play of course! don't feel obliged.

You can also find these lovely bloggers on twitter!

Barbara - Serenity Space - @aurora111

Joyce - Hot Flashbacks - @joycemason

Tamara - ;) semicolonsmile - @tamarahellgren

Oriana - Green Meditations - @naturespirits

. . . and I am on twitter as @joyfrequencies

(Don't forget to drop in on Jen at Realia where she gives us a good reminder to - "Pay attention – there's a story everywhere you go".)

The Importance of Updating

2009-09-06T07:53:00.071+01:00

"As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge." - Henry van Dyke

I was thinking recently of the importance of updating. We feel it natural to update our homes, to redecorate now and then, to freshen it up, or to give it a new look, and usually, despite the upheaval of furniture moving, paint splashes and the inevitable clutter it brings to the surface, we feel better when it is done.

The newly done surroundings are invigorating and stimulating (unless of course you have a really bad colour scheme going on. lol) and it makes a difference to how you feel in the space. As these bouts of transformation are usually accompanied by clearing out old stuff too it can feel like a breath of fresh air to inhabit this familiar space.

The same is true about our personal look and style. Some people update their image regularly, trying out new hairstyles and changing clothes with the trends. Most of us tend to go with what is tried and true and once we get past the teenage experimental stage, never think of moving much out of our comfort zone.

Which brings me back to what I originally meant to write about.

Updating our mindset.

So often, we make up our minds about something and it becomes a 'fixed belief'. In fact we no longer even question it, it just becomes 'the way it is'.

This is the way we as humans work, we can't keep constantly questioning our choices, likes, dislikes etc. or it would use up all of our conscious mind (our RAM - in computer speak) so once we have decided something, it is relegated to our subconscious mind, which then goes about its business quietly beneath the surface, deciding things for us based on previously inputted information.

That's great (most of the time) as it leaves us free to use our consciousness for everyday living. The downside comes through us no longer questioning certain beliefs, preferences etc. We don't even notice that these subconscious decisions are being made, so we miss out on the chance to update our judgements of things that we decided long ago, for whatever reason, we didn't like or were not important.

Everything evolves and changes. Just living and the passage of time updates things, so that things that were once relegated to the 'not interested' pile, may now be interesting, if we gave them a chance, instead of repeating the thing we have repeated for years - I don't like that!

The truth is - just because you didn't like that years ago - how do you know you won't like it now?

I can think of a lot of things that I updated my views on and all involved a questioning of something I thought was a 'fact'.

When I was very small I didn't like tomato's!
I thought they were horrible things and couldn't work out why anyone would want to eat one. So for years and years whenever the subject of tomato's came up my response was "I don't like tomato's".

Flash forward to a 13 year old girl having a sleepover at a friends house, still awake in the early hours of the morning and whispering in bed so as not to wake the rest of the family, we both agreed we were ravenous! My friend decided to tiptoe downstairs and see if she could find something for us to eat.

Five minutes later, she appeared out of the darkness and handed me my feast - three digestive biscuits and a huge home grown ripe tomato.

I was tired, hungry and taken aback. I was just about to go into my - I don't like tomato's routine, when she looked at me straight in the eyes and said "eat it". I saw her take a big bite out of hers and pull a salt cellar out of her dressing gown pocket that she then sprinkled on the exposed flesh, "like this" she said handing me the salt.

On autopilot, I copied what she had done. It was absolutely delicious and I was totally amazed. I was converted! I love tomato's now and just think, I could have spent the rest of my life trotting out the phrase "I don't like tomato's".

I know that was just a small example and I am sure I could have happily gone through the rest of my life without eating tomato's! but that, and other situations like it, make me wonder how many times in life we are missing out on enjoyable, life enhancing things, through decisions we made long, long ago that we don't even think to question and update?

"While it is wise to accept what we cannot change about ourselves, it is also good to remember that we are never too old to replace discouragement with bits and pieces of confidence and hope." - Elaine N. Aron

I was speaking to a lady quite recently, she was in her early Sixties and had just retired, she asked me about my painting (as I had an exhibition of my paintings at a local library) then said wistfully, I would love to paint but I am not at all creative. I asked her if she had ever tried? "yes, when I was at school but I was useless, the teacher told me that all my proportions were wrong". That was it! 50 years ago and she took one comment and made up her mind she wasn't creative and had been saying it ever since. She loved Art and colour but had never once, even thought of trying again because "she wasn't creative".

This post could go on and on, as I give examples, but I guess by now you have the idea. We are constantly filtering things out of our current experience because of decisions we made years ago that we now accept as 'fact' and no longer question.

I am so glad that some of my 'facts' were challenged, or I would be missing out on some wonderful things.

Would you believe that 10 years ago "I am not partial to Cats and their fur irritates me" used to be a 'fact' for me! I say this with two of my three adorable and much loved cats laying at their spot on the corner of my desk as I type. Thank goodness I updated that belief.

Have you updated any of your beliefs lately?
Can you think of any 'facts' that you could challenge?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Getting Older

2009-08-10T10:50:00.046+01:00

"As we grow older…the beauty steals inward." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This week I have a birthday. I enter the last year of my 40's - the age that in my youth I considered old.

The fresh unlined face that once stared back from the mirror is replaced by the wrinkles and effects of gravity that time bestows on all that travel through this life. The naive enthusiasm of youth now replaced with a quiet knowing, a comfortable acceptance of who I am and what is important to me. Age has come bearing its gifts.

I have come into alignment with myself, walking in
time to my own rhythm, trusting my own beat.

Scattered pieces now magnetized by my core, return
and slot in to places I didn't even know were empty.

A jigsaw coming together, edges done long ago, the
final bits are slipping easily into the missing spaces.

Fragments I suspected long gone, were not lost, just hidden.

The final piece will reveal the whole picture,
I pick it up and gently put it into place.

As we travel this journey of life we need to keep letting go, evolving, adapting to the moment. We need to be sure that we don't have our hands so full of the past that we can't accept the gifts of the future.

How do you feel about getting older? Do you recognise the gifts?

"Coming into alignment" - taken from Out of My Ocean

A Note To My Soul

2009-07-26T16:18:00.025+01:00

Shine from me and fill my world with light.

Let love, compassion and all good things

radiate outward from my core.

Let me seek evolution, whilst trusting

the goodness of universal love.

Let my life be a mirror,

to the beauty of all that is.

Let me transform,

and purify,

and make whole.

Let me be aware,

right here - right now.

Let me align with my highest vision

and join hands with my very soul.

Let me live with love

and the deepest of understanding.

THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU

In Times Of Change - Go With The Flow

2009-07-05T14:38:00.057+01:00

There are times in life where change is forced upon us.
The break up of a relationship, the loss of a job or having to leave a much loved home. Change comes in all guises, from the small seemingly insignificant ones, to those that seem life threatening and fill us with horror. It can feel as though the rug has been pulled from under our feet.

Even change that is wanted and has been dreamed about and worked toward can still bring up the same feelings. It is as though the safe secure world you know has suddenly been thrust into chaos, nothing feels solid anymore. It awakens our fears, anxieties and insecurities. Our instincts tell us to try and preserve the status quo, to mend the cracks, to hold on even tighter as we feel change snatching away the security of the known.

"Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better".- Richard Hooker

It is like we are plunged into a fast flowing river and we are desperately clinging to the shore, grabbing at rocks to slow the rush of change, to keep still, to stay where we are. We are swimming against the current, trying to fight the direction of the water.

This is the time to let go and go with the flow - allow the energy of the change to carry you.

Don't fight it - don't hold on.

Feel the feelings and let them move through you but don't get stuck in them. Just allow the changes to happen and trust the process.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." - Alan Watts

Change is evolution - it is life. We can't see the whole picture and when in the midst of these things, it sometimes feels like life is over but these are usually the moments when looked at with hindsight, that are the marker points for our life. The transformative times that allow us to become more of who we are, to arrive at destinations that logic perhaps would never have chosen for us.

"Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights." - Pauline R. Kezer

It takes courage and great trust to allow the river of change to carry us, a relinquishing of control. It involves taking a deep breath and letting go. You have to trust in the process - go with the flow and allow the energy to take you to a new place.

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." - Author Unknown

The Worry Screensaver

2009-06-18T10:04:00.082+01:00

"Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose." - Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes we mistake our thoughts for us
Instead of seeing them as clouds floating over the sky of our minds, we become them, we are consumed by them. Like a moving screensaver that pops up when your computer is inactive, thoughts and worries can arise on our internal screens and before we know it, we are watching the screensaver and thinking that that is reality, instead of just a programme running on our machine.

So what can we do about it?
Well firstly we must try to step outside of it. . . detach from it.
If it is inside your head and 'running' you are giving it power and energy by observing it.

Take a pad and pen and as succintly as you are able, write down what is worrying you.
Then assess: Is this real? ie. something concrete happening in my life now.
If it is: Then you must decide - can I do something about it?
If you can, then you must do it, and do it now.
Nothing will dispell worry faster than taking action in dealing with the issue.

"Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow." - Swedish Proverb

If there is nothing you can do about it.
Then realise that worry is only sapping your strength and energy and adding to the issue on an energy level. You will be more able to deal with the actualities if you can remove yourself from the 'worry'.

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." - Leo Buscaglia

Are you worrying about something that MIGHT happen?
If something is happening in your mind, in your imagination. . . if you are projecting into a future situation that may, or may not happen, then you are powerless to deal with it and it will cause anxiety and worry, it is destructive.

"Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable."- Theodore N. Vail

Worry doesn't actually help or solve anything.
You need to break out of the loop and reassure yourself that all is well and that if and when anything arises, that you will be able to deal with it.

break the pattern and do your best to stay in the moment.
Keep dragging your mind back to NOW.
Affirm that everything is okay.
Keep busy, get engrossed in something.

But what ever you do -
Don't sit and watch the worry screensaver!

WORRY FRAGMENTS YOU - DON'T DO IT TO YOURSELF

Pledge

2009-05-27T11:20:00.006+01:00

I will not step into the cage of my past

defining myself by what has gone

by the marks on my canvas

made in another time and place

for I am an ongoing work in process

each stroke valuable to the whole of the picture

I will not become trapped in the grooves of the past

repeating, like a record needle stuck

but remain fluid, ever evolving,

moving onward, constantly

recreating myself anew.

Choices

2009-04-21T09:05:00.052+01:00

We always have choices, and one of the most important choices we have, is where our attention is placed and focused. At any moment here on Earth, everything you could possibly think of is taking place.

Every spectrum of experience is being played out and the popular media, newspaper, television, news bulletins and magazines, report this 'news,' they bring to our attention a small part of this spectrum.

Most of what is reported is either negative and fear inducing, or a not so subtle programming of us the general population. This constant reportage of negativity affects the psyche. It is in fact psychic pollution.

If we, as sensitive beings are constantly bombarded by these things that the media deem newsworthy, we are put in the position of passive observers, in the most part unable to do anything about the atrocities shown and it affects us and we begin to shut down .

What good does observing this do? Does it help in any way? Or does it just serve to reinforce pessimism and general malaise?

Do the airbrushed images of mock perfection in magazines help young people develop self worth?

Do the screaming headlines in the trashy but very popular magazines on every supermarket shelf telling us which celebrity has spots or cellulite contribute to our well being?

At every moment, as well as people being hurt or killed, there are people falling in love and new life being born.

As well as war and atrocity there is deep peace and genuine compassion.

For all the talk of lack and depression, there is growth and abundance.

For everything fake and manufactured there are thing of real innate beauty.

It is easy to get caught up in believing that the reported world, the TV world, the things in magazines and shops, are the reality of our life.

What is really going on, is that we, humankind, are one of the species alive right here, right now, on this beautiful planet we call the Earth.

It is spinning in space, warmed by a giant burning star we call the Sun and orbited by our satellite the Moon.

There are glorious forests of green trees, enormous deep oceans ebbing and flowing, magnificent winds blowing around our planet, rain falling and watering the myriad of growing things upon its surface.

There is beauty and life, real life, going on everywhere. It is what we are, what we are a part of, what modern society has wooed us away from, with its artificial quick fixes that feed the hunger that develops inside a man or woman who has wandered so far away from their true 'nature'.

It is in this 'real' world, the natural world of which we are a part, that strength and inner peace can be found. A connection to nature will connect us to our own nature, to our instincts, to our sense of belonging, to this 'whole' of which we are a part.

We have a choice in every moment where our attention will be placed and focused, and what energy we are adding our weight to on this seesaw of life.

Do we observe and add to the worry, pessimism and despair engendered by the popular media?

Or do we choose to turn it off and look at the beauty that is everywhere?

We have a choice, which will we choose to observe today?

What we see depends mainly on what we look for. - John Lubbock

- Susannah Bec 2009

Simplify - Prioritise - One Step at a Time

2009-04-03T11:19:00.028+01:00

It can be so easy to get overwhelmed with modern life. There always seems to be so much to do, so many things to deal with, so much *stuff*. These are some tips to help.

Simplify, get rid of the things that are causing clutter, both mental and physical. Weed out the non essentials, they won't be missed and you will feel much clearer.
Prioritise what is truly important.
Deal with all the absolute *must do's*
List all the *want to do* things, in order of priority.
Take the thing from the top of your list and do that, immerse yourself in it.

Just focus on the task at hand. Take things one step at a time, deal with the actual moment. By only tackling the thing right in front of you, it will prevent the avalance of *shoulds* from hurtling down the hill of tasks and swamping you beneath them.

Remember - Simplify - Prioritise - One step at a time - Good luck!

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." -Hans Hofmann

Thoughts on 'Virtual' Communication

2009-03-01T16:21:00.026Z

Online communication - the problems and benefits.

Lately I have been thinking about communication, specifically about how we communicate online.

Here in cyberspace we have to operate without all of the normal visual cues that we are able to pick up on when we speak face to face. If we are to be able to communicate effectively, then a change in our normal communication method may be needed.

It also teaches us more about our 'regular' communication style which is usually a pretty automatic thing. I have realised that in normal face to face communication, humour and smiles go a long way in making up my persona, and as in cyberspace people can't see my facial expressions! I need to allow for that.

"The ability to express an idea is well nigh as important as the idea itself." - Bernard M Baruch

I find that I have to think more carefully about my words, as something said with a grin and a twinkle in the eye seems to automatically change meaning when just words on a page. The words 'literal' meanings seem to jump out at you and it is easier to read subtext into something that was a throwaway comment.

Perhaps that is something to be explored, just how much visuals have to do with communication. I feel it is a different art - this process of learning how to communicate in a written sense without my normal bolster of smiles and delivery.

It is a learning experience (isn't everything!) and it has made something once quite 'unconscious' become more conscious. In a way, it can help communication to be more deliberate and thought about, as you can rewrite, something that isn't possible with speech. Though that also takes away some of the spontanaity and flow.

"Communication is not only the essence of being human, but also a vital property of life." - John A Piece

I think that as more and more communication takes place with an interface between us and others, as in texting, emailing, blogging, twittering etc. it is going to call for an evolution in our thinking about true communication.

So is your online style an accurate representation of your personality? or does the 'mask' that the medium allows, help in communication? Do you find it easy to communicate online? or has it caused you problems? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Honest Communication

2009-02-13T10:22:00.059Z

Just lately I have been thinking about communication and how we are all doing the best we can with what we have got and where we are. But perhaps we could strive for more 'soul level' communication and that would be a start in a new way of communicating.

It would involve letting go of some of the masks, barriers and shields and that in turn would opens us up to the risk of being hurt, which is obviously why people don't do it very often.

Humans need the shields and the barriers, as underneath we all still contain the innocent child who got wounded by "life".

So we are on the defensive and we mistake our viewpoints for 'us' and when our views are attacked, then we feel attacked and not understood and at a subconscious level often angry and rejected.

That seems to be the nature of us as humans, we didn't come with an instruction manual, we are all wounded, we are all flawed, we are all dealing with it.

So that brings us back to honest communication.

We can start by examining truly 'where we are coming from' in our exchanges with others, for instance are we trying to 'be right'? are we trying to make others 'wrong'? are we trying to 'point prove'?.

Lets keep in mind that behind the masks of each and every one of us there is a soul, an energy, trying as best they can to get the knack of life, of dealing with their feelings, their thoughts, themselves.

I've thought about it and I am willing to change patterns, I am willing to communicate honestly and remember who is behind the mask.

"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin."
- André Berthiaume

Reality?

2009-02-08T23:24:00.021Z

There is no one objective reality...there are many "realities." Everyones reality is so different, both physically, mentally and emotionally. You can never completely share a "reality" with anyone, because everything we see, observe, hear or experience is filtered through us. And because of this fact, is coloured by our expectation and our total life experience up to that point. Which will always add subtle overtones to our view.

For example, if two people are asked to view and describe the same room, one, if having been bought up in a large house with spacious rooms, will view the room as small, while another having been used to small cosy cottage rooms will view the same room as a large room, who is correct? which is "reality."

One person could hear the sound of a marching band and be reminded of dear old uncle Harold, who played the bass drum in one for thirty years, and all the fun and ice creams a visit to hear him entailed. Whilst another could think of a wartime friend who died tragically, trombone still at his lips, do you get my point?

You could spend 24 hours a day with someone, share your life, a life you had "built" together. But still that person would always be looking at you, while you would always be looking at them, even if you were looking at the same object, you would never be observing it from exactly the same space, at exactly the same time.

Reality is personal, one person loves dogs and has always had one as best friend, another is frightened by dogs, terrified, feeling that they will harm him. They come across a stray dog in the street, what is the reality of the situation? is there one? the men, the dog, or us, as observers will all see the situation differently.

People tend to feel, that if other people do not experience or see things in the same way that they do, that in some way the other person is judging their experience as wrong. Or that if their personal experience of "reality" is correct...then other views of "reality" must be wrong.

So believing in "one reality" can cause disruptions, friction, hurt feelings and frequently causes wars.

For if you believe that there is only one reality...and all your beliefs and life experiences have backed up that you are right. Then obviously it must be very difficult to understand that the other person feels exactly the same as you do, because all of their beliefs and life experiences have led them to their conclusion in exactly the same way.

In each of these "Realities" each person is correct.

The familiar cry is "we can't both be right".

Understand the concept of realities and you will see "yes we can".

Copyright © SB 2004-2009