At The Turning Of The Year

"The merry year is born, like the bright berry from the naked thorn."
- Hartley Coleridge
Life is full of marker points - the turning of night to day, of month to month, season to season and year to year. We often make a celebration of special days like our birthday and days like today where we see the end of one calender year and the start of another.

A consciousness of these repeating times can give us a sense of continuity and helps us to understand the ceaseless circling of time that unfailingly bring us back to these marking points. We return to them over and over again, and each time we return to the same place, things are different, we are different, as everything moves on.

"For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."
- T.S. Eliot

So at this turning point in our collective year, why not join with me and take some time to feel how this last spiral has made us wiser, appreciate what we achieved and the blessings we received. Then let go of anything that needs to be left in the past, all that we don't wish to carry forward, release it and let it go with the passing year.

Then take a big deep breath and lets throw our wishes and dreams into the next year to line our path and light our way! . . . then we can step boldly into a new year and enjoy the next 365 day trip around the Sun.

A Very Happy New Year To You

May it be full of Joy and Happiness and bring you all you need.
Much love and thank you - Susannah x

Image: Fortunes Wheel by sb.

We Teach People How To Treat Us

We teach people how to treat us.

Now that may seem to be a strong statement - but it is one that I happen to believe is true.

For example, maybe there are times when we dismiss someone's sharp impatient tone when they are talking to us, or we let them take us for granted, or allow them to act disrespectfully and we don't say anything.

Whenever we allow people to not consider us and our feelings. Whenever we stay silent and hope the 'other' will notice how unfair they are being. Whenever we don't say how it makes us feel. Whenever we don't speak out . . .

We are teaching them that whatever they are doing is ok with us.

If you get a new puppy and it starts to chew the table leg, you pull it away and tell it NO! Each time it goes to do it, you repeat - NO!
It soon gets the message and will stop chewing the table leg.

Same with people and with ground rules.

As an example - If the very first time your partner ever spoke to you sharply or disrespectfully, you said, "please don't speak to me like that, I don't like it." They may reply, it was because of this reason, or because of that reason. If you then replied, "no matter what the reason, I don't like to be spoken to like that. Please don't do it."

What would happen?

They would either adjust their behaviour out of respect for your wishes, or you would rethink how you felt about a relationship with someone who didn't take account of your feelings.

People will accept their behaviour as OK
- If we accept their behaviour as OK.

It is our responsibility to make it clear what we will accept and let it be known. Others will mirror the respect we give to ourselves. If we allow others to act in ways that make us unhappy, we owe it to ourselves to quietly and calmly change the ground rules.

A New Chapter

A New Year - A New Start

Thoughts For A New Year

As we make our journey through the landscape of our life, we gather up and collect our memories on the way. The happy moments that we treasure become part of the fabric of our lives.

Those shared family stories that help anchor us and give us a sense of belonging, that let us know that we are a part of something bigger than just our solitary selves.

They strengthen us and our bonds with others.

The sharing of our memories and the retelling
of our stories is an ancient thing.

People gathering around a fire sharing the myths and legends of the tribe, was the way in which knowledge and folklore was passed from generation to generation.

We too have our personal myths and folklore. Made up of the stories we have heard about ourselves. Maybe you heard - "She is such a good girl" or "He is useless at sports, his brother is the sporty one, he has two left feet". Positive or negative, these become anchors, ways of being. Then over the years we add the ones we tell about ourselves, "Oh no, I am useless at that!!" - "I am so unlucky with men" - "Nothing ever goes right for me".

These beliefs and repeated stories become part of our 'script'.

The truth of the matter is, that as good as memories are for keeping us grounded and for continuity, they are based on the past, on the people we once were, and the situations that once existed. We are constantly growing and evolving and if we are conscious of the negative elements of the story we tell about ourselves, then we can choose to change that too.

"Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future." - Melanie Gustafson

Life is based on the choices we make every day, the book we are writing of our lives. We can write a comedy or a tragedy. We can write ourselves a part as a hero or heroine, or we can be the poor soul, the victim, the martyr. We can write a tale of drudgery and lack, or one filled with sparkling happy moments.

If you thought about your life so far - what sort of book would it be?
how would you as a character be cast?

It is an interesting exercise to realise that we have a choice in how we want our 'story' to play out, what do we want to write in for our character? What adventures could we put in there for him/her? What hidden qualities could you find in your lead character? What baggage could they drop? What choices does she / he need to make in the coming pages? What is your 'happy ending'?.

All the things you have experienced, have made you who you are right now. The good, the bad, the joy and the pain. But whatever your life has been, right up to this second, you have a choice in where it goes from here. Every moment is a place we have never been before. Every day, a new day, a chance to add happy moments, as the future is lived one day at a time.

The future is still unwritten.
You have a blank canvas, a clean white page.

The new year is a time when lots of us look back over the year just passed and make resolutions for the coming one. This year why not do it a little differently and think of which stories you want to leave behind and which new ones you want to write in. Think of it as the start of a new chapter in the book you are writing about your life.

Sunday Thoughts

Sometimes you need to define what it is for you. What is the purpose of this wild and crazy life, where is your place in the scheme of things.

Will you plod steady down the centre path of your life, or skirt the edges, dancing with shadows, listening to the music that is yours alone to hear.

Will you sparkle and shine and burn with passing passions, reflecting the lights of the peripheral and almost unseen.

Or do you want to sink roots deep into the black earth and remain steady, growing branches, sprouting leaves, reaching for the sky.

Do you run, do you walk, or do you sit and wait for the sparkling moments to blow through your hair.