What Needs To Be Done

I think that most people at one time or another in their life, have felt the feeling of being trapped in a situation or lifesyle that is no longer making them happy.

Situations change and we do too as we evolve as people, and what may once have been a comfortable fit can start to feel claustrophobic and stifling.

What to do in a situation like that? well, the old quote comes to mind - Either change the situation or change the way you're looking at it! but the tricky part comes when you realise that YOU are the one in control and only you can make the changes.

"You've got choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore & you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice." - S D Woodhull

I once lived in a situation that I jokingly called 'my pretty prison'. Over a number of years I tried every which way to alter it from within, but in the end I knew I had to take action, so I got up, opened the 'prison' door and walked into a new life.

It wasn't easy, in fact it was one of the hardest things I have lived through but I recognised at my core that it was something I had to do. Things and people sometimes have to be dismantled before they can be reassembled in a new stronger way.

"It may be that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey." - Wendell Berry

One vital bit of advice to add, is - 'remember that you take yourself with you'. Whatever the core issue is behind your feelings, if it is stemming from your own unresolved issues, it will in time resurface to be dealt with again, and you may just find yourself in another very similar situation - we create our own prisons.

"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Confucius

Above all, if something is making us unhappy, or doesn't feel right, I think we owe it to ourself to change it, however uncomfortable the process may be. I don't think we should allow ourself to be miserable for a second longer than necessary, there are always choices.

The change doesn't HAVE to be anything on such a grand scale as I described above - often times a change in how we perceive our situation is enough to alleviate the tension.

"We may not be able to change what we look at, but we can always change what we see." - Alan Cohen

It is amazing how 'reality' can shift when perception does. Sometimes the thought of actually taking action and changing things, is enough to put things into perspective. By dreaming of a 'big escape' we can miss out on lots of very real treasures our life holds right now.

As a wise friend said recently "maybe we should simply ask ourselves - What needs to be done?"

What a powerful approach! - it cuts though so much.

"What needs to be done". . .

"Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference." Mignon McLaughlin

Image by Susannah Bec.


Ann said...

This really struck a chord with me. It took me a few years to successfully change the way I looked at things, as I was not able to change my situation. Still working on it, now I am not only seeing the change, I feel it too. And for that I am truly grateful.
Delighted you found the strength to open and walk through your prison door. That not only takes strength, it takes courage!

Suz said...

Wow,that Wendell Berry.. he will never cease to enlighten and delight...love him!
So many great quotes...so wonderful to have them placed before me!
The real journey begins...how thrilling...really...it makes me well up with excitement and joy...truly a wondeful thing to happen to someone...it happened to me....and all I changed was me...and my attitude toward just about everything.....
I tell my friends..."I had to recover from myself"
you are wonderful Susannah
I just know we could talk into the night

Jewels For Hope said...

I fully agree that if something really does make us unhappy we do owe it to ourselves to change it. Everyone deserves happiness. :)

jennifer said...

I take a perspective on purpose. It was a decision I made many years ago. If you see the positive, you can find it.

I'm not suggesting people with depression can just overcome it by looking at the positive, but as a general rule, it can change experiences!

Susannah said...

Hello everyone and thanks for the comments. :-)

Ann, it is amazing how we can alter a situation by changing the way we look at it and I am so glad that you have living proof of that! - thanks for sharing your experience (and well done!).

Suz, they are great quotes aren't they! and I love what you tell your friends "I had to recover from myself" - wonderful! And yes, I am SURE we could talk into the night. ;-)

Jewels - So glad you agree, and yes everyone deserves happiness. :-)

Jennifer - I love that you take a perspective on purpose! you are so right - it can change experiences!

Thanks again all of you. :-)

Barbara Scully said...

Hi Susannah.... wow... what a thought provoking and wise post. Made me wonder about lots of things. Most of which I will have to go away and mull over!

But as usual you have made me think and wonder... thank you so much for that!

And I love the quotation :You've got choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore & you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice." - S D Woodhull

Joyce Mason said...

Fabulous post, Susannah--powerful for boiling things down to their simplest components. We are on each other's beam, as I am soon to post something about those times we have to say good-bye to something or someone we love. Different angle and aspect of the same issue, and I will now link to this post to direct readers to more on the topic! Thank you. Deeply thought-provoking.

Susannah said...

Barbara, I am glad to have made you think and wonder. ;-)

Joyce, I like what you say about it being powerful in "boiling things down to their simplest components." I think that asking 'what needs to be done' does that.

Thanks again both of you for your thoughtful comments - it is always good to see you here. :-)

Colleen Loehr said...

Hi Susanna! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, seeng the beautiful images, and reading many nourishing quotes on your blog (several I copied into my journal). "What goes around comes around" as the old saying goes, and I appreciate your zest, warmth, and enthusiasm, I feel your beneficial energy moving through this interesting space of blogosphere. Thank you for the encouraging and energizing comments you left on my blog recently. I'm new to blogging and at times a kind of self-consciousness and self-doubt invades me, but the robust warmth of your words on my blog really swept out the cobwebs of fear from my spirit! All blessings to you!

Susannah said...

Hi Colleen and thank you so much for your lovely comment it is much appreciated.

I know how you feel when you say "I'm new to blogging and at times a kind of self-consciousness and self-doubt invades me" I think that is something that we all go through at some time when we are putting our thoughts and feelings out there into the darkness of cyberspace. Which is why comments from the people who read our posts are important, they let us know that we are being heard.

I so enjoyed the post I had read on your blog that I had already added you to my blogroll here at Joy frequencies so I didn't miss your future posts.

Thanks for visiting, it is very nice to meet you.
Susannah :-)

Colleen Loehr said...

Thanks Susannah! I continue to enjoy your blog- it is a wealth of positive insights and connections. For example, I just followed the link to the quote, "Consider what you give attention to each day. It's a precious resource, and determines the shape of your life." I feel inspired to give more generous attention to whatever entires the field of the present moment, and to go more deeply with my attention into this present reality. Bless you for all the gifts of your words and the connections to further beauty through links on your blog! Thank you especially for your kindness to me. Colleen

EclecticArtista said...

I have been in a time of transition, going to school again, trying to reinvent my life...It's been really hard and scary because I still don't know if I'm on the right track for myself. Something is trying to be healed. I'm trying to just keep the faith and suspend judgement until things become clearer...your quotes and writings really help! You are always so upbeat it seems! I wish I could be like that...Thanks for sharing your positive energy! You're a great inspiration!

Susannah said...

Hello Eclectic, times of transition are very scary aren't they? Everything is in flux, it is in times like that, that we need to take a deep breath and trust ourselves and trust the process.

Trust that all is well and go easy on yourself until things settle in the new pattern, just go with the flow and adapt to what shows up.

Change means we are evolving, the old is being let go of as the new is being created.

You say - "I still don't know if I'm on the right track for myself"

The way I see it is that we are always on the right track, even when we feel unsure and when it may appear that we are not.

Thank you very much for your kind words and feedback, it is much appreciated and it is very nice to meet you. :-)


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