"I'm going away to an unknown country where I shall have no past and no name,
and where I shall be born again with a new face and an untried heart." - Colette
and where I shall be born again with a new face and an untried heart." - Colette
Seventeen years ago, the girl I once was sat on this bench under the full moon. I was far away from where used to be called home, perched up there on a windswept clifftop, with the ocean raging below. It was toward the end of a life changing Summer, one spent close to the beach. My only personal possessions - a few clothes.Home for those months was a tiny 10 foot caravan and the whole of a new and beautiful part of the country to explore. The coastline was wild and rugged, the sea by turns tumultous and then calm as a lake, mirrored my emotions.
"Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines,
your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes - with all this taken away,
you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably
makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. "
your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes - with all this taken away,
you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably
makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. "
- Michael Crichton
I was empty - stripped of what I thought I was. I hadn't realised how far what I had believed constituted 'me' had stretched - out into my art, my possessions, my home, my friends and my environment - until it was all gone and there was just me.
I discovered, I stopped at my skin.
Detoxed and purged by the waterfalls of tears that had washed me clean, I was healed and opened up by living so close to the forces of nature. And there, sitting under that full Moon,
I felt I had been reborn.
I felt whole and grounded.
I was finally calm within my own skin.
I knew that it didn't matter what I had or didn't have, or who others thought I was. I was finally calm within my own skin.
I knew who I was, and I realised that that was what was truly important.
I understood that home was inside me, that 'things' didn't matter, and that the things we fear losing, are the shackles that keep us chained.
I knew that from that day on, whenever I saw the full moon I would be reminded of those things, and that everything else is just icing on the cake.
17 comments:
How wonderful you made these discoveries as a girl. What a wonderful gift.
Hi Susannah
thank you so much for this post. It moved me greatly - reminded me of what I had learned from my long 2001-8 soujourn in the Underworld. Different experience, similar learning. We have to cherish who and what we have in the now, live each day as though there were no more to follow.....and savour the joy!
Anne
The moon is powerful
as is the night and the sea
you had a trilogy going for you gal
It isn't the possessions that bind us
but our holding on to them
You are wonderful
and I.. so... related to all of this
It really is about joy
The moon has such power. It is a reminder of many positive things in our lives. What a great blog you have. It is full of joy!
Hey, thanks everyone for the great comments. :-)
Ann, yes a wonderful gift. :-)(I was probably a bit hasty calling myself a 'girl' though, I was probably a bit old even them to be classed as that.)
Anne Whitaker - I am glad you identified with this post (as I do with your experiences)- thanks for dropping in, it is good to see you here. :-)
Suz, I knew you'd understand. :-)
Yes, the moon, the night and the sea what a wonderful and powerful trio.
Selma, thanks for dropping in, and for your kind words - it is great to see you here. :-)
What an exquisite memory for you. Thanks so much for sharing. Being stripped away from all the familiar, yes it can be so life-changing. It's true, though, that which we are afraid to lose is exactly what keeps us shackled to the very thing we want to get away from. Wow, great post. I love reading your blog.
It's funny, I was just having such a moment this evening when I discovered your blog and this post. It was right around 3 years ago that a one-legged man in a bar in Ashville, North Carolina, (I'm not making this up, it's not a country song) introduced me to the books of Eckhart Tolle. That moment, similar to yours on the bench by the sea, came just a little before that.
Funny I should discover your blog on such a night, found in an email from my blogging friend Colleen Loehr. Great blog! I'm looking forward to keeping up with it. Todd
Hi Ellen :-)
Yes, as you say, being stripped of all the familiar can be life changing.
I think that when we are away from what we have always known and are thrust into to new surroundings and situations, we actually begin to 'see' and 'feel' things more clearly as our instincts are bought to the surface, and we manage to stay in the moment as everything is new.
The usual 'automatic responses' to what has always been there and which because of habit and familiarity have faded into the background ,can no longer work in new unfamiliar situations (or mind sets).
Thanks for dropping in, always good to see you. :-)
Hello Todd,
I really enjoyed hearing about your moment in the bar - (are you sure that isn't a country song!?) :-)
Isn't it wonderful that pivotal moments such as those are scattered throughout our lives. . . when we know that a new path and understanding has just been forged.
I love the synchronicity of your arrival here, it is very good to meet you. :-)
(Thanks very much Colleen for the introduction.)
Hi Susannah,
I've enjoyed reading this post several times, and each time it echoes in a deep place in my soul. You are communicating a radically transformative shift you experienced within, and hearing your experience transforms me.
The words which struck me most powerfully are:
"I knew that it didn't matter what I had or didn't have, or who others thought I was. I knew who I was, and I realised that was truly important. I understood that home was inside me, that "things" didn't matter and that the things we fear losing are the shackles that keep us chained."
It seems to me that the fruit of this revelation is continuing to pour forth in all the good will and wisdom you are putting out into the universe through your blog. There is the moon in the sky, and there is the pearl of great price; you found under the moon that the pearl of great price is your true identity. I feel my true identity as I read your words written from the heart. Thank you.
Todd- I am very happy to see you here! I hope you will post a blog about the one-legged fellow in the bar in North Carolina...Isn't it wonderful all the guises truth will show up in?
Thanks very much Colleen for your thoughtful and affirming comment, and thanks also for introducing me to Todd.
It is good to see you here. :-)
I think we all need those cathartic experiences now and again to ground us and remind us what is real.
I have been held back by pining for a boyfriend I lost over 2 years ago and today, I defriended him from Facebook, deleted emails I was hanging onto and am now finally ready to move on with new hope.
It must be the full moon :-)
So glad I read this.
Hi Diane, yes cathartic experiences are necessary and clear away the old, making a space for new energy to rush in and revilalise us. I am sure you will feel that after what you have done today! :-)
Thanks for dropping in and leaving a comment, it is much appreciated. :-)
This is an amazing post. Very moving :)
Thanks Jewels :-) (Nice to see you!)
Thank you for the link back to here, which filled in a little bit of the portrait that was missing in the Toads interview today! ♥
Good to see you here Jinksy and I'm glad to have shared this with you. x
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