Many Selves - An Inner Choir

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." - Anaïs Nin

There are moments when a chance meeting will spark up something inside of us, a stream of thought, a deep realisation that uncovers something within ourself, something intrinsic.

It happened to me yesterday . . .

It held a mirror up to my deeper self and I saw a vital part of me reflected. That recognition 'shuffled me' on an inner level, bringing a part of me that had taken a background role and planting it firmly there in the foreground. As I felt the jolt and reabsorbed that almost forgotten energy, I mused how had it had taken such a back seat and I wondered, when had it moved out of my everyday life?

I decided (too quickly) that over the years my outward self had become a diluted version of my essence. Like a voice that naturally sings bass, learning to sing soprano to harmonise with those around so they can hear what I am singing. I had tempered my expression of me, so much that it had become habitual - it was in fact now. . . me.

"There are so many separate selves;
no one who writes creatively hasn't felt that."
- Jeanette Winterson

Then, I thought further and knew that yes, that may seem to be the case but also something much bigger was going on here. I looked back and understood that all throughout my life there has been a shifting of these internal players, my very own choir! Always singing together, some are singing harmony, some descant and at certain times one steps forward to sing a solo. That is what had happened.

Different parts of me have taken centre stage over the years, depending I now realise, on what I at a core level need to learn or express right now. The assets and skills of each of these players are kept and contribute to the whole but step forward when needed.

So yesterday, a part of me that I hadn't expressed outwardly for such a long while stepped forward - and she's ready to sing a solo.

Very interesting! it looks like a new phase is about to begin.